After Forever & Ever

Chapter 85

Hardin-Present

Love.

There was a time I thought it could fix me. Fix everything. And that it would be all that mattered. But it only numbed what life had in store for me and what ultimately would be my reality.

This is it....ya know. As good as it gets. I had glimpses of happiness. Glimmers of hope. But at the end of the day this is where our story ends. This is where I let her live a life free of any pain caused by me.

I know I did that before and I should have listened and stayed away.

I'm beyond fucked up right now.

Tessa keeps fucking talking. Vance keeps fucking talking even fucking Zed.

"Just shut the fuck up please." I say out loud.

"What!?" Tessa responds back.

"Can you all just stop talking....." I say raising my voice.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you come with us." Tessa says to me.

"Why so I can go back to rehab or some shit like that...again." I respond.

"Hardin yes. As many times as it takes we aren't giving up on you." Vance replies.

"Well you are going to have to because I'm fucking done. I'm not going to rehab or therapy or anything like that and that's a fucking promise." I tell them.

"So what are you going to do...drink? Shoot drugs into your fucking arm? Abandon your family?...." Vance questions.

And all I can do is just turn away. If I trusted I could be what they deserve I would be that. But something in my fucking head tells me this is the only way....

And that's what's fucked up.

"Just leave me the fuck alone." I say walking away.

Walking through a crowd of people. And then out the front door. All 3 of them following behind.

I get in my car and Tessa jumps in the front seat.

"Get out of the car Tessa." I say to her.

"No. You know you can't drive and you won't with me in the car so no." She replies.

"Get the fuck out of the car Tessa." I yell again wishing I didn't as I reach over her trying to open the passenger door and she fights my arm away and in the process the glove box opens and the box with the ring falls out into her lap.

It stops us both in our tracks. She looks down at the box and opens it and then looks back up at me.

I grab the box out of her hand and throw it back into the glovebox. 

"You were going to propose?" She asks.

"No. Now get out." I simply reply.

She starts balling her eyes out.

"Why are you crying?" I ask her.

"Why am I crying? Why am I crying?!!!!" She screams I mean really screams at me.

Then she just starts hitting me and then crying into me then hitting me again. I don't really know what to do so I just try to hold her.

She's practically hyperventilating. "Tessa breathe." I whisper to her. Kissing her forehead. As she continues to sob.

I take the key out of the ignition and put it in her hand. "Here." I say to her and I open the car door and step out.

Vance is standing right there and hugs me.