After Forever & Ever

Chapter 91

Hardin-Present

I wake up to my head pounding.....my whole body drenched in sweat. And good thing there is a garbage next to me because I yak for the next 10 minutes straight.

I look over and the clock says 10PM.

I pull myself together and I leave the bedroom and see Tessa rocking Emery. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

"I don't know she has a slight temp and when I got home my mom said she just didn't seem like herself." She tells me.

"Can I hold her?" I ask her.

It almost seems like she hesitates but she hands her to me anyways.

She seems pretty calm in my arms and I just continue to rock her and hold her.

We keep an eye on her and her temp doesn't seem to be going down. "I think we should take her to the emergency room." I say to Tessa.

"I'm scared...what if something serious is wrong." Tess replies.

"She will be fine babe we just need to have her looked at." I try to reassure her. I say babe out of habit...

Driving to the hospital I can tell Tessa is a nervous wreck.

When we get there we luckily get called in right away. The nurse asks a bunch of questions, takes Emery's temp and examines her.

"The doctor will be in shortly." She lets us know.

Tess picks up Emery and rocks her to sleep. She has a seat next to me and leans slightly into me. I kiss the top of her head again habit.

The doctor comes in shortly after. "Hello I'm Dr. Wren what brings us in?" He asks.

"She has been running a temp and just not acting herself." Tessa tells the doctor.

"I'm going to take a look at her and we will get to the bottom of what's going on." The doctor replies.

After a while the doctor tells us that Emery has RSV and that she will need to stay overnight for observation and to make sure they get the temp under control.

Fuck...I have never been more scared it is one thing when it is something with me. But this is my daughter. My sweet, helpless baby girl who all I want to do in this life is protect and be there for.

Once we get up to a room and Emery is in her crib hospital bed hooked up to a couple monitors. Tess and I have a seat on the hospital couch.

"Are you still leaving tomorrow?" She asks me.

"No...I want to make sure Emery is okay before I go anywhere." I tell her.

"I know you want to stay but you being here isn't going to make her any better. And right now you need more help than she does. I want you to go still." She says to me.

"Tess...I'm not leaving. I know everyone always thinks they know better than me what is best for me. But I am not leaving my sick daughter regardless of what is going on with me." I tell her.

"Okay." She replies.

I grab my hoodie and bunch it up to use as a pillow under my head as I lean back sitting up to try and fall asleep for a few minutes.

Tess moves closer to me and puts her head on my shoulder.

I not even realizing it move away from her.

"What was that?" She asks me.

"We aren't together remember...you made that really clear that you don't want to be with me." I tell her.

"Wow....really Hardin?" She questions.

"Yes really. You have proven time and time again that the second things get hard you don't want to be with me and I have to earn my way back into your life." I say to her.

"That's not fair Hardin. I have stuck by your side through a lot more than any normal person would have." She replies.

"mhm." I simply reply and grab the chair on the opposite side of the room.

"So is this how it is going to be between us now?" She asks.

"i guess so." I reply. And I don't want to be a dick. We are in our sick daughters hospital room.... but I can't do the games anymore either. My fucking friend just died because of me and she tells me she is done with me in practically the same breath.

So I don't know maybe I'm just fucking done. I'll obviously always be there for Emery, but maybe this is it for Tessa and I.

Something about this time feels different. Usually I am at a point where I am willing to do anything and everything to get her back. But this time I'm not. Once I know Emery is better....I'll leave. I'll do my program and then we can figure out how we go forward as co-parents I guess.

I end up falling asleep in the chair. I surprisingly wake up around 6am so I get almost a full nights rest. A nurse is in checking on Emery. Tess is still sleeping.

"How is she?" I ask.

"She looks good. It seems like she has been able to fight off the temp through the night." The nurse tells me.

A few moments later Tess wakes up just as the nurse is leaving. I at this point have picked up Emery and I brought her over to the chair I am sitting in to feed her.

Tessa comes over and grabs her from me without saying a word to me.

We pretty much go the rest of the morning this way. The doctor comes in a few hours later and says we can go home and he sent Emery home with antibiotics and just said to keep a close eye on her.

When we get home Tessa puts Emery down for a nap. I decide to start packing my stuff since Vance moved our flights to tomorrow morning. As I am packing Tessa comes in the room.

"So this is it then...we are really done?" She asks me.

I ignore her and just keep throwing stuff into my suitcase.

She grabs my hand to stop me from putting the next pile of clothes in.

I just stop and give her a look.

"I'm sorry...I don't want to be done. I do want to be there for you and get through this together." She tells me.

"6 months is a long time... so we can just see how you...I mean we feel then." I respond.

"Do you not want to be with me?" She asks.

"I don't know." I reply which hurts me just as bad if not more than it hurt her.

Is this really it for us?...I don't know but right now I know we can't be together....

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Thank you all so much for constantly reading and commenting. There is still more to this story but I would love and appreciate so much if you checked out my story that has common themes and story lines to this one but my own characters and it will have its own new twists. It is called Forever---Please give it a read & comment!!! Thank you!