After Forever & Ever

Chapter 24

Tessa-Present

Hardin is always the one who is numb to everything. I think that's me now. After leaving... I feel like I couldn't cry a single tear if I wanted to.

It was weird I sent a text telling him I need to know what's going on and that he is okay. But then it was like something in me clicked off and I felt like I am stronger than what I have been letting myself be.

I have been allowing him to make me so weak that I don't even know who I am anymore.

I'm done.

He can shut it off. So can I.

After I get off this plane and say goodbye to Trish who is staying with a girlfriend of hers nearby.

I am done with all things Hardin Scott.

And yes I am having his child. But I'm having his child alone. And he chose that.

I hope he's okay. I hope everything was worth it. But I'm done.

I didn't elude to that at all with Trish. We spent the plane ride back talking about everything Hardin. Every bad thing Hardin. I tried to think of good and I couldn't.

I still can't. He said he's a bad guy and he is. He is selfish and it's time for me to be selfish. And worry about me and MY baby.

He never responded to the text and that was the validation I needed.

When I got back to my apartment I just kind of sat for what felt like an hour.

Feeling sorry for myself...maybe. Feeing like an idiot....yes. But that was all I was giving myself.

I got up and took a shower. Ordered dinner and turned on Netflix.

And waking up the next morning I felt free. Free of the chains that were weighing me down that were Hardin Scott.

I actually took it one step further and I blocked him on my phone. And it felt good surprisingly so good.

I decide to make myself some morning tea and I contact the office to see if I can come in today and try and get caught up on work. And just go back to my life.

I wish I could hit rewind. But this is what it is and I'm just moving forward. And it might not make sense how we left things between us because it was very much assumed on both ends we were together. But i came to my senses and I'm glad I finally did because otherwise my life would still be on hold for him and I can't do that anymore.

When I arrive at the office. I see Kim and I kind of just shake my head as in please don't ask about him and she doesn't she gets what I am gesturing. And just gives me a huge hug and I give her one right back because I know she needs one just as bad as I do.

Everyone is staring at me and so I make a bee line towards my office.

My desk is full of work that just never stopped while I was gone.

I just start working and I get lost in it. Before I know it it's 6PM, Kim shows up at my doorway. "Hey I am heading out for the evening, do you want to go grab dinner...Smith is with my parents and asked to sleepover there." She states.

I am hesitant just because I don't want it to be all about Hardin or Vance for that matter. But I agree I feel like I owe it to Kim. "That sounds nice, sure." I reply.

When we arrive at the restaurant. Kim doesn't waste anytime.

"What is going on that you came back and Christian didn't?" Kim asks me.

"I know you already don't care for Hardin so I really don't want to make that more so, but he was involved with some bad people I guess, and was dealing drugs and owed money and it wasn't safe for myself or Trish to be there." I tell her.

"That's not true I do care for Hardin but I think he hurts a lot of people.... So why is Christian there still? And Trish is here?" She fires the questions at me.

"He was going to help Hardin get out of this trouble he's in and yes she is because it would be safer right now." i respond.

"So where does this leave you and Hardin?" She asks.

"Not together." i sort of abruptly respond.

"Really?" She quickly questions.

"Yes, we are done. He doesn't know that yet but he hasn't talked to me so how would he...but I also blocked him." i tell her.

"Wow! Are you sure about that?" She questions surprised.

"Yes." I simply reply.

"Well I guess I don't know when Christian will be back he said soon last time we spoke but that doesn't seem to be true now. And I have been swamped running things while he's been gone...I am exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Which I am sure you are too. I'm sorry. This has all been just soo much." She explains.

"This is hard and being pregnant doesn't help." I reply.

"Tessa I'm so sorry I haven't even asked how you were feeling and the baby!" Kim says.

"No, no it's okay. I am okay I just am trying to come to terms with the fact that I am going to be doing this alone." I reply.

"You know you aren't alone I will be there for you, and if you want me to come to your next doctor's appointment anything! I will be there." Kim exclaims.

Which that is something I need to do tomorrow is make a doctor's appointment. And it is very sweet of Kim to offer that but I want to do that alone.

I feel like I'm just shutting down and want to just be alone. Re-figure my life out and plan the next 5 months before the baby comes and just worry about me.

I leave dinner with Kim and I head home. I have this huge craving for a donut so I stop at the coffee shop near my apartment.

As I am leaving I run into Zed. "Tess, hey how are you?" he says and gives me a huge hug.

"Hey I am good how are you?" I reply.

"What have you been up to?" Hows Hardin been feeling I meant to check in on him, but..." i stop him.

"He is fine...we." and then i stop myself its none of his business.

"He is better" I quickly recover.

"Do you want to catch up? I feel like we haven't really talked in years." he states.

"No we haven't. But okay but I'm pretty tired maybe tomorrow?" I ask. 

"Yea that sounds great, do you want to meet here for coffee?" he asks.

"Ok." i simply reply and head out.

I just said I want to be alone and I just made plans with Zed. The Zed....