After Forever & Ever

Chapter 29

Hardin-Present

Today is day 29.

After 29 long, hard, tough days... I get to leave.

The first week was arguably one of the toughest.

But what I got from this and what did happen is I am back in the head space where I understand better why I am the way I am.

And also just owning my fucking shit. I can't blame anyone else for the choices I have made. I have done what I have done and I can't go back.

But I am ready to move forward and stop self-sabotaging everything in my life.

I told Vance that he didn't need to come back. And I guess my Mum is staying a little while longer so she can be there still when I arrive in Seattle.

I am having the port taken out tomorrow and then the next day I am on a flight to hopefully start my life with Tessa.

I have missed her so much...I just hope she has missed me.

I made one friend while I was here and his name is Laythe and he has been my go to. And he has basically been the guy version of Madi. He has called me out on my dumb shit and really helped me realize the only thing that fucking matters is Tessa and our baby.

You see he has 2 kids that he isn't able to see and he would give anything for that. I don't want that. And I don't want to be Ken..... or Vance for that matter.

Let's be honest I haven't had the best dads in my life. But that doesn't mean I have to be a shitty one. And I just hope it's not too late...

"So are you going to tell Tessa when you are back or surprise her?" Laythe asks me.

"I was kind of thinking I would surprise her." I tell him.

"Oh yea...plus she blocked you remember.." he points out.

"Yup...I do remember that. Thanks Laythe." I reply.

"Just don't fuck it up again." He says.

"I wasn't planning on it." I tell him.

The next morning. I wake up with so many emotions. I almost feel like this is the first day of the rest of my life.

Where things are finally going to go right. Not going to lie saying goodbye to Laythe was tough. But we both have too much to lose and I'm not willing to lose it again.

And I am making a promise to myself that this is the last time. No more drugs, rehab, jail, crazy shit. Nothing. I'm done.

And I was able to move my port removal to this afternoon since it just requires local anesthesia and that way I can leave first thing tomorrow morning and arrive in Seattle by Saturday evening.

Upon leaving rehab I decide not to call Zed. Since I want it to be a surprise and I am assuming Tessa still has me blocked.

I told Vance and my mum not to say anything to her even though it sounds like Vance hasn't talked to her much outside of work which I don't know if that's good or bad.

The port removal went well.

Afterwards I head home to pack my things. I can't believe this time tomorrow I will have Tessa in my arms....

Tessa-Present

It is Friday night and I am shopping for a dress that will look somewhat decent on a 6 month pregnant woman's body. Over the past month I feel like I blew up.

But Zed's sister is getting married tomorrow night and he invited me as his date. We have been spending the past two weekends at his family's lake house hanging out with his friends and family.