After Forever & Ever

Chapter 155

Hardin-Present

She's actually here...she's actually fucking here....
And she's pregnant, I left her and she was fucking pregnant...

I could have left right then and there to talk to them. But after they walk away. I collapse into the boat....it's over....it's actually over.

I take a minute to just wrap my head around the fact that I can be with my family again....

I feel like an asshole I have no idea what in actuality they have been going through and I basically just brushed them both off but I just am in fucking shock that they are here....and now left with the harsh reality that I have to explain myself to her.

And I have no idea if she will forgive me...

I'm fucking terrified. I wish I could be a fly on the wall and know what they are fucking thinking before I walk over there but I know this is something I have to face and so I just have to do it. I throw a shirt on and start heading over there.

Walking over to Lazy Jacks my hands are fucking shaking and I'm so god damn nervous.

As I get closer to the table I don't know what I'm supposed to do hug them? Just sit down?....I have no fucking idea.....

So I let them lead a little bit.

"I'm sorry about that." I say as I get to the table.

Vance is the first to stand up and he pulls me in for what feels like his longest hug ever. This is the first time I can honestly say Vance looks bad...he looks worn down....and I guess that could be all thanks to me.

"Are you okay?" He whispers to me.

"I'm fine." I whisper back as he finally lets go.

Tessa doesn't stand up and I don't want to press it so I just have a seat in between them.

It's a bit of awkward silence for a few moments and I think finally Vance tries to break it in the best way he can "so you're a sailor, huh?" He asks me.

"Ehh I guess so." I reply.

Tess puts her hands out on the table and I go to grab one of them and she quickly pulls it away.

"I'm sorry." She quickly follows with.

"No. Don't be sorry, I'm sorry." I tell her.

"You let everyone believe you were dead." She finally blurts out.

"I know...and I don't expect you to fully understand why I did what I did...but everything bad that ever happened to you and to us was because of me and I knew the only one who could stop it was me." I explain to her.

"The cops were already there that day Hardin it could of just been over." She tells me.

"Not while he was still out there...I did what I thought was right and the only way I knew I could protect you." I tell her.

"Hardin you didn't protect me....you destroyed me." She says firmly.

"I know I can't go back in time and change what I decided to do but I will do anything for you to forgive me and for us to have the lives we had always hoped for." I tell her.

She turns away from me and just starts balling her eyes out.

"Hey sad boy everything okay? You rubbing off on her?" My friend Francisco says as he comes up to our table.

"All good bro." I reply.

"How about I bring over round of drinks....that will help. Oh wait looks like mama can't have any....that's okay Johnny boy you will have no problem drinking hers for her." Francisco says and I want to fucking strangle him in that moment and all I do is give him the death stare and he gets the hint to go away.