After Forever & Ever

Chapter 57

Tessa-Present

The night pretty much goes as expected I'm up every few hours with baby girl. And I get a text from Vance around 3am letting me know Hardin is fine.

Looking at Emery there truly is no doubt in my mind that she is his..she even has his same dimples, and big green eyes.

I am sad that drugs will always be more important than me or Emery...

I want to forgive him I do. But Emery has changed everything for me. I can't accept his mistakes anymore...

But if I am being honest I have made plenty myself. And lied to him more than once and I told myself it was to protect him because I didn't think he could handle it. And he proved me wrong with the Zed situation but I think the potential that Emery wasn't his broke him and that I lied....again.

He has done everything since he's been back to prove I am number one and I've never stopped questioning him or have given him any credit.

What is wrong with me?...

I start crying holding Emery and I just feel like maybe this whole time I thought he was bad for me and in reality I'm the one... I'm bad for him.

Before I know it it's morning I have been crying for hours and my mom walks in.

"Theresa have you gotten any sleep at all you look terrible." She says to me.

"Thanks mother ." I reply.

"How was your first night with Emery?" My mother asks me as she grabs her from me.

"She's a good baby I am just tired I guess." I tell her.

She is rocking Emery and talking to her and looks over at me and says... "your father never loved me like Hardin loves you."

"What?" I say surprised by her words.

"He loves you...more then I have ever seen another human love someone before and that's hard for me to say given how I feel about him." She says to me.

Of all people I never expected that to come from my mother.

"Why are you saying this?" I question.

She just turns away and starts rocking Emery again not answering the question.

Does even my mother think I made a huge mistake?

Someone from the hospital staff comes in a few minutes later and asks for the information for the birth certificate.

And something that shouldn't be hard at all...is.

Do I put my last name?...his?....
Do I even put his name on it...

I make the decision and fill it out and I don't know if it's the right one. But I write Emery Scott and I write Hardin's name under father.

My doctor comes in shortly after that to check in on me. He is surprised at how well I am recovering and said I should be good to be released tomorrow morning.

Which I am relieved but terrified. I feel like once I leave the hospital things will become very real. I haven't wanted any visitors besides my mother I figured once I get home and settled then I would have people come to see her.

I have wrestled with texting Hardin all day and I have even wrote our texts and deleted them. I still don't know what the future holds for us but my heart is aching over him not being here with us and that's my fault I know....

But I want to be completely sure it's the right thing before I let him back into our lives.

The rest of the day I spend watching a lot of stupid reality TV to just try and not think for a while....it somewhat works...I guess. Plus taking care of Emery keeps me pretty consumed.

It's getting late and close to visiting hours being over and as my mom is saying goodbye for the night I ask her "why did you say what you said about Hardin?"

She leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead and says "I was wrong...goodnight sweetheart." And she walks out before I can even take in what she said.

I finally text him. And instead of saying anything I just send him a picture of Emery.

He replies right away which is unlike him. And texts 'she is beautiful just like her mom'

I text back and decide to keep it simple 'Hardin I'm sorry'

I wait for a reply...nothing. A half hour goes by and still...nothing.

'Can we talk?' I text again...and I must fall asleep waiting for a response because I wake up to Emery crying at 4 AM and I look over at my phone and still no response.

And again I don't blame him. I was cruel...beyond it actually.

The next morning I wake up and the first thing I do is try calling him. And his phone must be off because it goes straight into voicemail.

I don't know what that is about.

My mom is here getting my stuff together so we can leave the hospital I am just waiting on my doctor to discharge us. Which feels like it is taking forever.

Finally we are able to leave. Today is the first day I feel like I am in a lot of pain where the incision is but it is manageable.

My mom is going to be staying with me for a few days to help with Emery. When we arrive to my apartment I open the door shocked to see it spotless and all my gifts from my shower are opened and put together.

I walk into Emery's room and I instantly am brought to tears the entire room is put together. Her crib is up with all her bedding and stuffed animals and everything is organized and put away.

I look inside the crib and there is an envelope with my name on it.

I open the letter.

Tessa,
I wrote you a letter like this before. And you never got it and maybe that's a good thing. It's no secret we have been through a lot. More than a couple probably should have to go through and for that I am so sorry and i know being with me isn't easy. You asked me to leave because I'm never going to change. And I'm sorry I failed you and failed Emery. I'll make sure you both are taken care of, just do me a favor one day tell Emery about me. And know that I love you more than anything and that I always will. I've never questioned how much I love you and I don't want you to ever question it either. Maybe one day we will meet again. Goodbye Tessa.
Love,
Hardin