After Forever & Ever

Chapter 49

Hardin-Present

"What the fuck?" I say out loud when I get into my room.

Zed had a fucking key to her apartment....

I already wanted to beat the fuck out of him, and now I have a couple more reasons to.

But that's going to have to hold off a while with the whole fucking broken hand thing.

I really was only going to talk to him and just scare the shit out of him...and the only reason I still would is why the fuck would he go into her apartment...

That just doesn't sit well with me at all...or the fact that they hooked up....or that she gave him a key to her place.

It's all not sitting too well.

I've already been on edge all day and even talking to Connor, going to a meeting...it's not fucking helping.

I don't want to talk to Tessa about it. Because I'm fucking pissed at her. And honestly if she wasn't here I would probably talk to Vance but I just don't want her to know I'm even considering using again.

And I don't know if I actually am. All I know is I haven't ruled it out which sucks.

When I finally cool off I decide to go take a shower. I walk past them and they both look pissed.

When I get out I decide to apologize to Tessa. "I'm sorry I overreacted"

She seems frustrated with me and just kind of brushes me off which I guess rightfully so.

I'm still working on not going right to being a fucking dick....especially to her.

"I wasn't thinking you were going to be home tonight and Kim was going to be coming over for dinner...but you both should join us. I am making plenty." Vance says.

"You really think that's a good idea?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Vance plays dumb.

"I don't think it's a secret or ever has been that Kim
hates me." I say to him.

Tessa interjects "no she doesn't Hardin"

"She just worries about you." Vance says.

"Mhm" I simply say as I plop on the couch next to Tessa.

I think Tessa is surprised I am still here. I think she thought for sure I would be doing something to Zed right now.

Which I still really want to but I won't....

When Kim walks in you could tell she is surprised to see Tessa and I.

"Hi Kim, good to see you!" Tessa says.

"Good to see you." She responds with not much sincerity and i know it's not directed at Tessa but definitely me.

"Hi Babe, dinner is ready." Vance says as he is bringing food to the table.

Tessa and I get up off the couch and have a seat at the table. Not going to lie it's pretty fucking awkward.

It's fine though...well until it isn't.

Tessa is saying something about the baby.

And Kim says "well we will be here to help you if you are alone."

I just kind of nod as in...what the fuck. And I bite my tongue I'm not going to say anything.

But then she asks me "what are you doing with your life anyways Hardin?"

"Nothing Kim...Absolutely nothing." I say sarcastically.

"Well are we all supposed to continue living our lives revolving around you." She says to me.

"Kimberly, stop" Vance says which surprises me.

"No...no please go on." I reply.

"We have been at this for years Hardin you mess everything up for everyone and then you leave...it's just a matter of time." She says.

"You know what you are right I might as well save everyone the trouble and just go then." I tell her as I stand up.

"Hardin stop!" Tessa says as she stands as well.

"You all can go back to living your perfect little lives." I say addressing all of them as I walk out.

Fuck...I really wanted to have a calm fucking night. And I was really trying to let shit go.

I mean I really don't care what Kim thinks she's always hated me...but that was just fucking annoying.

I'm really only leaving because I just don't want to hear it. Like I get it...her life with Vance was perfect before me...

But what does she want from me?...

Tessa is immediately calling me before I even make it to my car and I ignore the call.

I decide to find a meeting...there's actually an app to find one at all hours of the day/night. (What will they think of next)

But whatever I find one.

Just because the likelihood of any of them thinking that's what I'm doing right now is probably zero.

I'm sure they assume I'm doing something stupid. But that would be too easy right? And prove Kim's point which I am not about to do right now...

I'm not going back to the apartment until I know Kim is gone so after the meeting I return to the Diner I went to the other day.

"You're back again." The waitress says to me.

"Ahh yea." I reply.

"Coffee?" She asks.

I just turn the cup over so she can pour it.

"You always seem so angry" She says.

I just kind f of shrug. Great even strangers notice how pathetic I am.

But I am sitting at a Diner...by myself. Alone at a Diner...okay so not super far fetched...

Hey but could be worse...

She comes back with a slice of pie "I didn't order this." I tell her.

"It's on the house...maybe you will cheer up a little bit." She says.

I mean it did cheer me up a little bit...it was really good pie.

Next thing I know the waitress ends up sitting across from me in the booth and she has her coat on.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"You just look like you could use someone to talk to and I just got off and I'll be happy to listen" she says.

Okay now I feel really pathetic.

"I'm good actually....thank...you though." I reply as I pull my wallet out to pay and tip her.

Well that was fucking weird....I think to myself as I get to my car.

I decide I probably killed enough time to head back to the apartment. 

When I walk in you would I think I fucking killed someone.

"Seriously Hardin?!" Tessa yells at me.

"What?" I respond.

She holds up her phone and shows me a picture of Zed with a pretty fucked up face.  Black eye, busted lip...just fucked up.

"Okay?...." I question.

"You couldn't leave it alone could you?" She asks.

"Did he tell you I did that?!" I fire back.

"Who else would?..." she replies.

My life is a fucking joke.....