After Forever & Ever

Chapter 17

Tessa 2014

The thought that this isn't all that bad quickly changes when the shock finally wore off.

The heartbreak hit me like a ton of bricks.

I went to school, to work at Vance's and went through the motions.

My eyes swollen and puffy for days. Because the second I am alone all I do is sob.

I tried calling him and it said this number is no longer in service. He fucking changed his number. So I can't even call him or text him just to yell at him. Nothing. I am left with nothing.

I feel completely helpless and trapped in these emotions that I feel  will never go away.

And he is probably back in London. Enjoying his life, carefree and going through zero hurt.

Landon has been weird with me the past few weeks and I'm assuming it is because I am still so hurt and I always ask him if he has talked to him. And the answer is always no. I know he is sick of hearing me being so concerned about him when he could care less about me.

"Hey want to meet up and study at the library together today" reads the text from Easton.

Mind you he has texted me everyday since we last hung out and I reply. Maybe....But I always blow him off.

I decide today I need to stop being so pathetic and I agree to meeting up with him at the library.

When I get there he is sitting at a table by himself with his headphones on writing what appears to be notes.

I have a seat across from him and he quickly pulls his earbud out. "Hey stranger, how are you?" He asks.

"I'm okay how are you?" I simply reply.

"Pretty good now that you are here." He replies.

"You are persistent." I tell him.

You could tell he is blushing.

"I know." He responds.

We study for awhile and he asks if I wanted to come by his place and watch a movie.

I agree and I'll be honest I am enjoying hanging out with him but then at the same time I am finding myself nonstop thinking about Hardin.

I decide I need to think of Easton as a friend because that's all he is. And he is okay with that.

"So what happened?" He asks me while we are in the middle of watching forgetting sarah Marshall.

"What do you mean?" I question.

"Who was the guy that broke your heart?" He asks.

"Why are you asking me that?" I quickly fire back.

"Maybe I'm wrong but you showed up today with swollen puffy eyes and you are probably as stand-offish as it gets so I just assumed..." he replies.

"He was nobody." I respond.

"He was obviously somebody, and it's okay you can talk about it with me. I went through a break up too about 6 months ago and my face said it all just like yours." He tells me.

Does he really want to know? Do I really want to tell him? What's there to even tell?.... 

"I don't know." I respond again still giving him nothing.

"That's fine we can just watch the movie" he says as he grabs the bowl of popcorn off the table and starts eating it.

" We lived together" I finally say.

"Okay..." he says with a half chuckle... me knowing he is questioning as if that's it.

"He was from the UK and he got kicked out of school so he packed up and left." I tell him.

"Damn why did he get kicked out?" He asks.

"Umm for fighting someone at school." I reply.

"Sounds like a great guy..." Easton says sarcastically,

And I immediately feel the need to defend him, but then I stop myself.

He's right he was a not a great guy. He's not a great guy. I'm wasting my time crying over a guy who treated me like shit.

"I'm sorry. I don't know him so I shouldn't assume" he says after realizing I'm not saying anything.

"No you are right." I finally reply.

"Your feelings are valid though. You loved him, you were with him and so naturally your hearts going to be broken." He tells me.

Which feels like the perfect thing to say.

Why couldn't I meet a guy like this before a guy like Hardin. Then maybe I would never know a feeling like this.

And I tell myself that I am still completely and utterly devastated that is not going away not today, not tomorrow probably not a month from now but I need to live my life.

And I do. And poor Easton is along for the ride and goes from seeing me super happy to crying in his lap at the drop of a hat. With no rhyme or reason not even to me.

And having him to be the person I cry to instead of Landon is probably what saved our friendship. We have finally been talking again regularly like we used to and back to hanging out.

He invited me over for drinks at his parents this evening. And he said I could bring Easton. And still we are just friends.

When we get there it feels weird. I haven't been here since well since Hardin.

Ken and Karen walk in the kitchen and greet us.

Karen gives me a huge hug, "Tessa it is so good to see you, we have missed you around here." She says.

"Yes, great to see you Tessa, and you are?" He says as he puts his hand out to shake Eastons hand.

"I'm sorry I'm being rude this is my friend Easton." I reply.

"Pleasure to meet you both." He says to Ken and Karen.

And I am realizing how weird this is I just brought a guy to my ex-boyfriends parents house. Yes...just a guy friend but still. What was I thinking? What are they thinking?

"Let me know if you guys need anything!" Karen says.

We go out back to the patio and are enjoying drinks and small talk. Dakota arrives shortly after. It is a very fun night and somehow I have allowed myself to forget where we are at.

"Would you guys excuse me I'm going to use the restroom." I tell them.

I go in the house and pass by Ken's office. He is on the phone and I overhear Hardin's name. "His name is Hardin Alan Scott...." he pauses.. "he is 23." He says into the phone. Another long pause..."ok...ok....just get back to me when you know more...thanks Adler."

What could that be about...I quickly think to myself.

I am holding back a sneeze and I can't stop it. Ken realizes I am standing there and gets up and closes his door.

He probably thinks I was snooping. Wait...I was snooping. Ugh how pathetic.

Moments later Easton comes in. "Hey you alright?" He asks.

"Yes all good, I was just getting a bottle of water." I lie as I move to the kitchen towards the fridge.

Being here feels wrong and overhearing that call just confirmed that even more.

But Landon is my friend who just so happens to be my ex-boyfriends brother.

I just have to stop relating everything and everyone to Hardin or I'm going to be stuck living in our past forever...