After Forever & Ever

Chapter 143

Hardin-Present

Tessa falls asleep in my arms and it's the best fucking feeling in the world. I hated telling her what happened....fuck...I hate even thinking about it.

I remember after it happened they made me sit in an interrogation room for hours and I was still covered in his blood. I couldn't stop staring at my hands that were stained red. Before they had me change they took pictures of the blood all over me....and all that kept coursing through my brain was that I just fucking killed someone. I fucking killed Dean....

I remember rushing to a garbage can to throw up because I couldn't fucking take it.

They believed me right away that it was self defense but there's a process and so that was why I sat in jail for a month and the only reason they released me on home monitoring was because I went back on the original deal of testifying against Reed. That was pretty much why they railroaded me into the new deal or tried to.

They wanted me to take the no jail time but testify against him...but they couldn't guarantee me the return status. Which fucked with their plan. Even though I wouldn't have taken it anyways. I honestly would rather go for the 3 months then put my family in jeopardy ever again. I know he still has people on the outside that if I testified would come after me.

And they don't need me I know they don't. They have enough to send him away for a long time....

Or I hope so. Fuck I hope so.

Laying next to her I can't help but think about how fucking lucky I am that she's willing to stay by my side.

The only thing that really scares me is being on probation for 5 years...that means no fucking up....and staying clean for 5 years something that has been really fucking hard for me.

But I don't have a choice and I know that.

Once I finally let all the thoughts in my head calm down I am able to fall asleep.

When I wake up..Tessa isn't lying next to me.

I look over and she left a note on the nightstand. Went to grab coffee, be right back xoxo.

I grab my phone off the charger and I have a text from Savannah. 'Hey I heard you're out now. I'm sorry about what happened to you. I would really like for us to talk. Me and JJ broke up so you don't have to worry about him.'

Fucking JJ I think to myself. That's someone I still will fucking worry about. But the only person who knew I worked with the police is dead and by me serving time it should look like I'm doing my time because I wouldn't talk which is technically true...

I'm not going to fucking respond to Savannah because we have nothing to talk about...

Before Tessa gets back I decide to call Adler.

After the small talk he asks... "so what's your decision?"

"I'm going to take the 90 days." I tell him.

"Are you sure?" He asks me.

"Yea I have to." I reply.

"After I submit the deal they will give you 48 hours to turn yourself in." Adler tells me.

"Okay." I simply reply.

We chat for a little bit longer than hang up just as Tessa walks in.

"Good morning" she says as she hands me a coffee and leans in for kiss.

"Morning babe." I reply.

"Who were you talking to?" She asks.

"Adler." I reply.

"Oh how did that go?" She asks me.

"I took the deal and so I have 48 hours to turn myself in." I tell her.

"How do you feel about it?" She asks me.

"Okay ...I don't know just what I have to do I guess." I respond.

She goes and grabs Emery and brings her in our room as the three of us are enjoying the morning and relaxing. She all of a sudden stops and looks at me and just continues to stare at me.

"Tessa! Are you alright?" I ask waving my hand in front of her face.

"Let's get married!" She says excitedly.

"Yea....I thought we already were?" I question.

"No. Today!!" She exclaims.

"Today?" I question confused.

"Yes...today!!" She replies.

"Did you forget....I can't leave this house???" I reply.

"So will call in someone to marry us and we will do it in the backyard." She replies.

"Why right now?" I ask her.

"You don't want to?" She questions.

"Of course I want to...more than fucking anything. But I'm going to prison Tessa....are you sure you want to marry me?" I ask her.

"I've never been more sure about anything. I love you and I want to marry you....and I don't want to wait another second." She tells me.

"Okay." I reply.

"Okay as in yes?" She questions.

"Okay as in yes." I reply.

She quickly rushes out of the room and I can hear her telling Vance he needs to go online and become ordained and then she said she was going to run to the store and find a dress and get our marriage license...I'm not really sure what I can do to help since I'm stuck here but I go out back and try cleaning up the yard a bit.

Fuck this is really happening.

While I'm outside Vance comes out. "So today's the day, huh?" He asks me.

"Yea I guess so." I reply.

"I'm proud of you, son" he says to me.

"You're proud of me?" I question confused.

"Yes....I know what your doing isn't easy but you are doing what you have to for your family and I'm proud of the man you have become." He tells me.

He's proud of his son about to turn himself into jail... I don't get it but I let him have this moment.

"Thank you." I say and he pulls me in for a hug.

I spend the rest of the time before Tessa gets home spending time with Emery. I want to try and spend as much time with her before I leave again.

I'm scared this time she will forget me.

It's killing me I will miss her first birthday. But luckily I'll be home right before Christmas.

When Tessa gets back she rushes off to our room to hide her dress, then shows me the marriage license....which I guess makes things official.

"You sure you want to do this?" She asks me.

"Are you?" I ask her back.

"Absolutely." She replies.

How is this one of the best days of  my life and the worst...