After Forever & Ever

Chapter 21

Tessa-Present

It's true. I look at him and and I mean I really look at him. Into his eyes and it isn't the same person as yesterday who was looking back at me.

There is nothing. It's as if every ounce of hope I had left for us was sucked out of him. And I am left with nothing. This empty shell of a person. Who I love more than anything, but hate more than anything at the same time.

He still hasn't answered me. He finally moved from in front of the door to sit on the edge of the bed.

I just continue to pack and ignore that he's even there.

"I never wanted to hurt you. And i know you don't believe me. But..." I stop him.

"Why? Can you tell me why? Why do you do what you do? Why do you do drugs? You have never answered that....Why would you choose to leave me in the middle of the night to do that. Why Hardin?! Just why?" I say clearly raising my voice.

"Do you want the truth?" He asks back.

"Yes I want the truth. If you are even capable of that." I reply.

"The truth is I am an addict and that's it. I can't stop, even if I want to. I can't. You can't trust me. I can't even trust myself. It just is a part of me...who I am. And I am done fighting it. I'm not going to stop. Not for you, not for the baby, not for anyone. I won't make it to 30 and I am okay with that. But you are going to be fine. You are going to be an amazing mother, and there is no doubt in my mind that this baby is going to be extremely lucky to have you." He says very emotionally.

More emotion then I was expecting to see out of him.

"Why did you even come in here, just to confirm what I already knew?" I question.

"No....to say goodbye." He tells me as a single tear falls down his face.

And I just lose it in that moment. I can't control it. I just start balling my eyes out. I push him off the edge of the bed so he's standing next to the door again and I just keep hitting him and crying. And he just keeps letting me.

Finally he grabs my wrists with one hand and wraps his other arm around me and pulls me in.

I want to push him away but hold him close at the same time.

I continue to let him hold me and I continue to just cry into his chest.

"I hate you." I say as I hit him again and push away. I grab his chain out of my bag the one i found on the floor of the apartment the day he left and I throw it at him.

It hits his chest and falls into his hand. "You had this?" He asks.

"Yes for a long time it was all I had left of you, and I don't want it. I don't want any part of you." I scream.

He balls his fist and turns around and punches his door sending a hole right through it. (Not that its the first hole on his door.)

The door handle spins and Vance and Trish rush through the door.

"Tessa are you okay?" Vance screams as he walks in.

"I'm fine." I insist.

"Wow, do you really think I would fucking hurt her?" Hardin questions getting more mad after each word that leaves his lips.

"No one said that Hardin." Vance replies.

And I don't. I don't think he could ever hurt me. Or would ever.

Hardin walks out of the room pushing his shoulder into Vance as he walks by and goes towards the back door. "I'm not leaving you could all calm down I am having a cigarette." he yells as he walks out.