After Forever & Ever

Chapter 44

Tessa-Present

I look at Vance and I can sense the relief between us that Hardin is back.

Unfortunately though...he's back but has the darkness behind his eyes that I haven't seen since he's been back and that scares me.

I need him to talk to me...to just hear me out. But I go over to his door and it's locked.

I gently knock on the door "Hardin can we please just talk?" I ask.

He surprises me and unlocks the door but doesn't open it.

I walk in and he is laying down on his bed.

I decide to sit at the foot of the bed on the opposite side.

"I'm so sorry Hardin." I say to him.

"It was never my intention to hurt you.." I say and still no response.

I look over and he has his fucking AirPods in.

So I get up and go and grab one out of his ear and set it on the nightstand.

"What the fuck Tessa!" He yells.

"I'm trying to talk to you" I yell back.

"So talk..." he responds.

I grab the other AirPod out and set it down.

"Before you came back...I thought I was going to marry Easton and then have kids and have this white picket fence life.." i say and he interrupts.

"Sorry to ruin that for you..." he says.

"Can you just let me finish... you came back and I realized I couldn't live my life without you in it. But it's taken a lot for you to realize that. Between cancer, drugs, jail, rehab.... I just wasn't sure if me wanting you in my life was ever going to be enough..." I tell him.

"Sooo it's my fault you kissed Zed and lied about it?" He says clearly angry.

"That's not what I'm saying Hardin but he was there for me and let's be honest with each other for a second....you haven't been, you haven't been there for me at all since we reconnected." I tell him honestly.

"Alright than just fucking be with him." He says to me.

"Hardin that isn't what I want...I just want you to be here and for you to actually be here, and be here for me." I tell him.

"If that mattered to you...you wouldn't have done it while I was back." He comes back with.

"I messed up Hardin." I say to him.

"Ok." He simply replies.

"So where does that leave us?" I ask him.

He grabs his headphones off the night stand and puts them in with his one hand.

I go to grab them back out and he grabs my hand. I go to kiss him and he turns away.

That hurt. That hurt so bad...

He grabs his blanket and puts it over him and turns away from me.

I take that as I should probably leave...

When I walk out of his room. Vance is still in the kitchen cleaning.

"How did it go?" He asks me.

"Not good." I say choking up.

"Give him time Tess." Vance says back to me.

I decide I need to go home and hope that next time we talk it will be better. I still want to do something special for him but I don't know if he will even want that now.