After Forever & Ever

Chapter 128

Tessa-Present

When Hardin got home he had really big news. News that I want to be happy for. And I tell him I am....because I know I haven't always been the most supportive in the past and were engaged now so I feel like I have to be.

But reality hits me in the face almost immediately when he's gone all day everyday for the next week doing press for his song which blew up almost instantly...even bigger than his first one, which is now regaining popularity and we had one evening where he wasn't busy and decided to go out to eat with Emery and he was practically mobbed by fan girls which I was not prepared for....and I am not prepared for that being our new life.

Even though its very apparent he is experiencing almost overnight stardom that does not include me....everyone is going crazy over him over social media. And they are basically glamorizing his past...his drug addiction and how he overcame was a story in the LA post yesterday and how he is an advocate for mental illness...and all these things. And I'm just trying to keep my head above water with all of this because its a lot....

We got engaged...and then we barely saw each other and our lives have changed so much already. We never talked about New York or how I felt and with all this going on it has made me think even more....what if?

He won't have another day off until Saturday and I am hoping we can at least talk then or have those conversations we have been avoiding.

I also worry about all the time he gets to spend with Savannah I trust him...but her....not at all.

When Saturday comes around and he wakes up to an alarm I am confused because I thought he has the day off...."What are you doing, I thought we were spending the day together?" I say to him as he gets up.

"I'm sorry babe....I forgot to tell you I have to go into the studio today." he says to me sort of nonchalantly.

"You forgot to tell me?!" I say raising my voice.

"I have had a lot on my mind...I'm sorry." He replies.

"Well I have had a lot on my mind too..." I reply.

"What does that mean?" He questions.

"This is not what I signed up for!" I yell.

"Tess I know it's been a lot but it will calm down." He says to me.

"No....it won't I see it only getting worse and where do I fit into all of this?" I ask.

"With me? By my side?" He questions.

"But what about my dreams and what I want?? Is that put on hold because of your career?" I ask him.

"What are we referring to? Because I thought you have everything you want?" He questions.

"New York Hardin! I'm talking about New York!" I yell.

That stops him dead in his tracks.

"Okay so we're doing this?....it wasn't just a drunk idea that you take Emery to New York and live in a one bedroom away from me....is that what you fucking want Tess?" He says raising his voice.

"Honestly I don't know. Maybe...all I know is this isn't my dream it's yours." I tell him.

"So why did you agree to marry me then?" He asks me.

And I think long and hard before I answer because that hasn't changed I do love him. I do want to marry him. I just want us on the same page....

"Silence great Tessa thanks." He says after me not responding.

"I love you and I want to marry you I just think we want different things." I tell him which right after I say it I realize how bad it sounds.

"I have to go or I'm going to be late." He says storming out of the room.

"Hardin wait." I say going after him and stopping him in the hallway.

I grab his face and pull it down towards me and kiss him. "I'm sorry." I tell him.

"Bye Tess." He says and walks out.

I saw how hurt he was by the things I said and I didn't want that I just feel like I have been holding back what I really want. Which is confusing because I really do want to be with him and I have hated us not seeing each other. But I have also been miserable because I don't love LA and when he's not around I'm left twiddling my thumb. And again everything is back to revolving around him.

I start trying to stay busy since i had planned on spending the day with Hardin I didn't really make other plans. So I decided to go down by the beach with Emery. I sat in the exact spot Hardin proposed and I know that I said yes because I do have everything if I have him...but I still worry about forgetting myself.

I am shocked when moments later he is sitting down next to me.

"What are you doing?!!!" I quickly question.

"We had planned on spending the day together...so work can wait." He says.

"But won't they be mad?!!!" I question.

"Yea probably but it will be worth it." He says to me.

I lean over and give him the biggest kiss..... "I'm sorry about what I said I was just really upset." I tell him.

"It's okay and if you want to talk more about that it's fine. I don't want you holding anything back from me." He says which I feel like I have. But I also want to enjoy the little time we have had lately and I don't want to spend it fighting.

"Okay well maybe later we can talk more about it." I reply.

"You ready to go?" He asks me.

"Go where?" I quickly question.

"I thought we could look at wedding venues." He says to me.

"Don't we need appointments?" I quickly respond.

"Yea....I made a few calls and Vance said he would watch Emery for us." He replies.

"Wow babe." I reply honestly in pure shock. I went from being so pissed to insanely happy.

When we are driving I can't help but stare at him and think about everything....everything we have been through. All the bad that has came our way but we are still right here by each other's side and he is still doing everything to try and put me first and make me happy. He looks at me and grabs my hand and brings it to his lips and kisses my hand.

"I love you." He says to me.

"I love you too babe." I respond.

The first place we look at has industrial vibes it's in the city and is all brick but has a huge open window section showing the LA skyline that goes out to a rooftop.

The person showing us the venue shows us where we could have our ceremony and different options.

This is making it all so real....I'm actually going to marry my best friend....