SINNED

chapter 53

His question rang in my head like some bell sending shivers down my whole body.

What should I say now?
What will I get in return?
I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me and gave me a questioning look. He scrutinized me from top to bottom as if he has seen some indifferent creature.
Am I talking to the same Sabrina whom I brought with me nearly two years ago? You were never like this.
He said with a snicker.

He is right!
I was never like this but he molds me into being who I am. A broken doll. But I can not keep on being this. If I ever want to get out of this godforsaken place then I have to work for it. I am still clueless pf what I will be doing. There are just so many questions and thoughts in my head which is making it impossible to think about anything else. I just got a new wound to my sanity that is the death of Anthony. I don't know how long I can keep up like this.

So why not just take advantage of the opportunity.

Lucifer vibes are getting inside of me.

He clicked his fingers in front of my eyes. I zoned out for a bit. I wiped the tears from my face. He looked at me with amusement dancing in his eyes. Enough of the scary part, now I want to fight back. And for that, I have to work now. I can feel his heated gaze on me. A frown etched on his face as if he is trying to understand what I wanted to do but was unable to do so.

What do you want?
After a long silence, he spoke up.

What do I want? I want to get the fuck out of this place. I want to yell at him to leave me the fuck alone and mind his own business. I want him to stop inflicting pain upon me. I want him to feel the same suffering that he made others go through.

But alas, I can muster up enough courage to speak this front of me. My mind and body are not in the condition of handling his other stunt. He will never let me go. He has made it Crystal clear to me. Neither the people from Andromeda are going to save me. Madelyn and Britney would have long informed them about me and my pregnancy. God knows what they might be thinking about me. So I would not be getting any help from them.

It looks like I am on my own. I sighed inwardly. I looked back at Lucifer who was already looking at me with a raised eyebrow. His eyebrows are damn gorgeous!

Wait! what?!
Of course, I am going insane.

Are you done zoning out?
His voice cut through the air like a knife.

Huh?
Well, yes, I zoned out and now I am looking at him like a lost pup.

What the fuck do you want?
He said through gritted teeth. He must be annoyed by my behavior. But what can I do about this? He is the one responsible for this. If he would have let me go then I wouldn't be contemplating this much about something in my head. It's all his fault. Sometimes I wonder that would I ever be able to get back to the old me. The better me. The happy me.

Maybe never.
I can feel my unconscious replying to me. It's true. I will never be able to get back to me but once I get out of here I will start over from the beginning.

I want access to the castle without someone following me.
I spoke with uncertainty. I didn't know what he will say. If he even senses a bit of my plan then I am dead meat. I patiently waited for his reply.

His scrutinizing gaze was burning holes in my body. I can see the wheels turning in his head and finally he spoke.
I will let you go wherever you want to go within the premises but not without someone following you.
He said in a stern voice while gazing directly at my eyes.

Very well then. If he does not approve of my wish then I will also not do so.
Then I might consider your every wishes rather than just blindly complying with it.
I said. This newfound confidence of mine is helping a lot.

Just a second later, I found his callous hand wrapped around my neck and crushing my windpipe. He lifted me by my neck. My legs dangling to gain a base to support my body. But I have never been that lucky. I struggled to breathe and clawed at his hands to let go.
I guess my kitten has just got her nails back. I should cut them again, don't you think? Or better how about I get rid of her paws so that I never have to worry about the nails.
He said while applying more pressure on my neck. I can feel the blood rushing from my face. My eyes burned with tears which slowly started rolling down. I became light-headed and that's when he threw me against the wall. I gasped for air. I rubbed the hurting area of my neck. He is a monster. I looked at him with teary eyes. He menacingly walked towards me with the stupid psychotic grin plastered on his face.

He bent down to reach my eyes. All the confidence in my body faded away from the glare he was giving me right now. I tightly clutched on my clothes and brought my knees close to my chest.
You see this is the reality. I am the one in control and you are nothing but another plaything for me. You are alive because of my seed growing inside of you. And just for the sake of that, I letting you roam with the guards. You should be grateful to me. But never mind, just a few months more. Once I get what I want from you you will be locked away. Forever.
He said. I can feel more tears shedding from my eyes and soon I was bawling my eyes out.

So this is what he wants from me.

Please kill me!
I begged him. I don't know if I could survive any longer. I don't know anything. I just want to be let out. I want to breathe freely even if it's just for a minute. These three words hurt like anything. I can feel my throat clench.
Oh no, darling! Where is the fun in that? You know you are my favorite toy. How can I get rid of you so easily. I am never letting you go. You are staying here, with me, forever.
He emphasized the word forever and I can feel my mind and heart being thrown into a void of loneliness and darkness.

He buried my head in his chest and stroked my tangled hair. I started to cry more. I can feel myself giving in to him. Again. I started to calm down. And this made me despise myself even more. How is it possible that the hand who gave me unbearable pain can give me comfort. I almost feel loved in his embrace. But I know better than that word.

I clutched his arms and moved impossibly close to him. He gently lifted me and placed me back on the bed. The soft mattress and the velvet sheets instantly relaxing my body. I turned on my side so that my back was facing him. I feel the bed shift a little from his weight and leaned down to my ear.
You have sinned by loving me and now this is your punishment to stay with me forever. I will take my time playing with you. And once you will be shattered I will join you again and take care of you before breaking you again.
He murmured in my ear and bit on my ear lobe. I suppressed a cry and croaked out.
Why?
I can feel his chest vibrating from laughter.
Because you are mine. I love you. My love is a pleasure for me and a curse for you.
He gently kissed my temple. His last words piercing my heart like a dagger.

With this, he drew the curtains and turned off the lights before leaving the room. I heard a click sound meaning he locked me. Again.

It was then I let the pain take over me. I started feeling numb. I just want out. I wish I die as death is better than living here.

I will get out of here. No matter what it takes..........

Just a few more months....

A few months......