SINNED

chapter 43

You are pregnant, darling..........

These few words were enough to knock the living daylights out of me. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

I looked between Ada and Lucifer and then back at my stomach. I lifted my hand. My hand was shivering. I gently laid my hand on my stomach and caressed it. A ghost of a smile spread on my face. Out of nowhere, Lucifer put his hand above me. I glanced up at him only to find him looking at me. His face was stoic but his eyes held numerous emotions. Indecipherable emotions. A wave of fear washed over my features. What if he is plotting my death in his head? I am damn sure, he must have several ways of torturing and killing me.

I looked at my fidgeting fingers on my lap.
Leave!
He ordered in a gruff voice. Everyone scurried out of the room. I was left alone with Lucifer who was staring intensely at me. His stare was digging holes in the side of my head. My hands were shaking in fear. The last thing I want is to be alone in a room with Lucifer. A lot of violent and awful memories entered my head.

He raised his hand and I flinched involuntarily. I moved my head to the side and closed my eyes shut waiting for the impact. It's not like the pain will be reduced by closing my eyes shut but it helps me escape the reality of the person I cherish the most. I dreadfully waited for his hand to collide with my skin but it never happened. Instead, I felt a smooth brush on my head. I scrunched open my eyes in fear. I looked up at Lucifer. He was soothingly stroking my hair. I leaned into his touch. My eyes were glued to his face. A small smile played on his lips when our eyes met.

This is my child, isn't it?
He ran his other hand across my stomach. Is he doubting me? My eyes widened in realization. He was doubting me! Of course, it was his child! He was the one who was fucking me around every corner of the goddamn castle!

My subconscious was yelling at me. I wish I could say the same words to him. But alas! I could never say that.
It is your child! How can you even ask such questions?
My eyes glistened and my voice broke at the end of the sentence. He gazed intensely at me. He gave me a stern nod and got up from the bed.

I was watching his every move.
C'mon! I don't have all night and we have a dinner to attend! So get up!
He said in a calm yet stern voice. I muttered a small yes and dragged my body towards the edge of the bed. The moment I set my foot on the floor and got up, a strong wave of pain washed over my body. My body almost hit the ground but fortunately, Lucifer caught me in the middle of my fall. I heard a deep throaty chuckle.
You are very messy, do you know that?
He shook his head while chuckling and picked me up bridal style. He carried me towards the closet.

He sat me on the small couch inside the closet. He started looking through the ocean of clothes. Lucifer might have not given me other facilities but he has always paid attention to my appearance. This is why he provided me a fairly large closet full of clothes and accessories. I sighed. I have been doing that a lot. My hand brushed over my stomach. I am pregnant. And I am reconsidering everything I planned with Madelyn. I don't think it is the right time to do anything like that. No matter what, I don't want my child to grow up without a father. I can't take away something which he or she rightfully deserves.

I have grown affectionate towards my baby. My baby. I small smile braced my features.

But it is not even born yet! Abort it! It's good for nothing! It will only cause you more trouble!
My subconscious seethed at me.
But I can't do that. Everyone has the right to live. I was negotiating with my subconscious.
That's what I am saying! Everyone has the right to live including you!

I guess it is useless. But now I am confused. I can't deny the fact that my subconscious was right at some point. I held my head in my hands and groaned loudly. I was conflicted.