Limitless (NCT one shots)

Without saying goodbye Pt3 (Norenmin)

"Sixty one weeks, it's been sixty one weeks. I don't think he's coming back." Jeno says dejected.
"I'm trying so hard for Jaemin's sake to stay positive, but it's almost impossible at this point." He sighs and leans back in his seat.
"I'm sorry for you guys, but it hurts all of us you know? Like I get it, he needed space but we are his friends above all else, and he left us." Haechan pouts and leans on Mark's shoulder.
"Hi guys." Jaemin says cheerfully.
"I just got off a call from another school in China. I don't think he's there but I really couldn't understand them." Haechan chuckles but stops when he thinks he hears a giggle behind them. He looks over his shoulder at the booth but doesn't see a thing.
"It's nice to see you feeling so optimistic today Jaemin." Mark says carefully. Jaemin shakes his head.
"I am trying to just tell myself that he will come back today, I do it every day and some days I get through it easier than others. It hurts that he left, I understand why but more than anything I just hope he's ok. Jeno and I realized too late that we love him and we are dealing with the consequences of our stupidity, if only someone could get word that he's doing good. What if he's hurt?" His voice is starting to shake again and as much as he wants to spend at least one day not crying, at least once, he fails again.
"I'm sorry, you guys are probably tired of me crying all the time but it's hard when I know it's my fault this happened. He wouldn't have left if I wasn't so impulsive." Jeno sighs and holds him close.
"Baby." Jeno says softly before kissing his lips.
"Let's have a good night, we came here to get out and be with friends before Christmas. Let's not dwell on it right now."
Haechan smiles kindly at them.
"It's ok, we get it. If Mark left without a trace I would spend my entire life looking and worrying too." They quiet down when the waitress comes over and gets their orders.
"So how are things otherwise?" Mark asks.
"I already picked out Jeno's Christmas present." They all laugh.
"You already picked it out? Christmas is a week from now." They all chuckle at his expense again.
"Hey, considering last year I waited until two days before, I think I'm doing pretty good." Jeno kisses his cheek and laughs.
"You're cute baby." Jeno says as Jaemin pouts and leans into his side.
"Are you guys going home this year?" Jeno looks down sadly before answering.
"No, we are staying here. Neither one of us really had a happy lifestyle growing up, especially after coming out so we would always go to his house at Christmas." Haechan can't help but tear up.
"You guys can come to mine." He says softly.
"Thank you Haechan, maybe next time though. We aren't going to show up at the last minute, besides we have each other, we will be fine." Jaemin says happily.
When it's time to leave Jaemin stands first and drops his phone. Jeno helps find it and sees it has slid under the next booth. He walks over and sees a small person in a hoodie facing the wall.
"Excuse me, can we just get the phone that went under your seat?" They kick it back at him all while keeping their head down. Jeno grabs the phone and hands it to Jaemin.
"Thank you." He says before walking away. He thinks for a split second that he sees a familiar mark on his hand but decides his mind is tricking him again.

Another week had passed.
"Merry Christmas Eve baby." Jeno says when he hands Jaemin a hot cocoa with a candy cane in it.
"Merry Christmas Eve Jen, I love you." Jeno kisses his upper lip where the whip topping was.
"I love you too. Should we watch some Christmas movies?" Jaemin nods happily. They get half way into The Grinch when there is a weak knock at the door.
"Did you order take out? Who would be here on Christmas Eve? Everyone left." Jaemin asks as Jeno walks to the door.
"I don't know, Maybe someone stayed beh..." his voice got caught in his throat when he sees who is behind the door.
"Is everything ok? Jeno?" Jaemin walks up behind him and can't breathe. Nobody can speak. The silence is too tense, but nobody knows what to even say at this point.
"I'm sorry, I can't." Renjun says as he turns to walk away. Jeno quickly jumps into action and runs in front of him, blocking his way.
"No, please don't go. Please talk to us?" Renjun nods shakily and goes back to their place. He slowly crosses the threshold while watching Jaemin just stare at him.
"Jaemin, baby, come sit with us and talk ok?" Jaemin is having a hard time with this and it shows.
"I'm sorry." Renjun whispers. "Maybe coming back was a bad idea." Jeno chuckles bitterly.
"No leaving was a bad idea." Renjun stares down at his hands.
"I had a lot of thinking to do. I had to be on my own." Jeno holds Jaemin's hand and plays with his fingers, sensing his stress.
"You didn't have to shut out everyone. Do you know how hard it was on all of us, not just as the boys who are in love with you but your friends. We were all so worried." Renjun looks away and tries to fight the tears but it's a losing battle.
"I know now that, that was the wrong thing to do. I feel awful but after it had gotten to a certain point I was afraid that no one would want me around anymore. I thought you all hated me." Jeno hums and Jaemin finally makes his presence known by wiping tears from his eyes.
"Jaemin struggled everyday, blaming himself. He spent so much time trying to find you." Renjun cries harder and looks softly at Jaemin.
"I needed to know that you were safe, at least that but you never called." Jaemin says with a scratchy voice. Renjun stares at the floor lifeless.
"I transferred abroad for a year. I thought it would help me to be away, but I only ached for you more. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I would like it if you could forgive me." They sit in silence for a little while longer.
"I will go back to my room, it's 105 now if you want to talk more." He starts to stand but Jaemin stands too.
"Please don't leave us again." He slowly wraps his arms around him and lets him melt to his touch. They stand like this for a while, Jeno watches on with a steady stream of tears. When they finally separate Renjun looks at Jeno so he opens his arms and he falls into him finally letting his emotions free.
They cry and talk for hours until the sun rises.
"Merry Christmas." Jeno says softly as he kisses Jaemin's lips before doing the same to Renjun.
"I'm sorry. I didn't bring any gifts." Jaemin smiles and shakes his head.
"Just having you in our arms is the only gift we need." They each pull out the gifts they bought for each other and the gifts they bought for Renjun for last Christmas and this one. It makes him cry harder but he opens them. They got him some of his favorite fragrances, knowing how he loves perfumes. A sweater that was just his style and a new watch. He was overwhelmed with emotions knowing they were holding out for him for so long.
"I can't believe you guys. Why are you so good? Why did you wait for me and look for me when I don't deserve your care after abandoning you?" He's genuinely taken aback.
"We weren't lying when we said we love you." Jeno says softly.
After more cuddling, and talking, just when they were all about to pass out from lack of sleep Jeno pulls out his phone and snaps an awful, puffy eyed, red faced photo of the three of them cuddled on the couch and makes a cute edit before he sends it to the "find Renjun" group chat they had started so long ago.

(You just have to imagine it being a bad picture )

When Jaemin's phone alerts him to a new text he slowly picks it up and Jeno watches his smile stretch across his face and giggles. Renjun asks to see it and laughs. Of course one by one texts from friends come flooding in and Renjun promises to talk to all of them after Christmas break. Jeno let's them all know that he is safe and healthy and that's all that matters right now.
"You know, when I heard what you all said about me in the cafe last week I cried my eyes out but I was too afraid to tell you I was there." Jeno squints his eyes as the realization hits him.
"I talked to you, didn't I? Oh my god I thought I seen your birthmark but I wasn't sure. We've been fooled before so I thought my mind was playing tricks on me." ‪ Renjun looks away ashamed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't have the courage to speak yet. I didn't know you would be there either, I just got back and was hungry after the long flight and unpacking and then you guys piled in and I heard everything you said." He wipes at his eyes again.
"I never should have left without saying goodbye, I'm sorry." He says quietly. Jeno reaches over and pulls him in for another kiss, a little longer than the last one.
"Just promise you won't leave us again, please? Say it this time." Jeno says raising his brow. Renjun giggles.
"I promise I won't leave you ever again."