Limitless (NCT one shots)

When leaving hurts the most (Jaeyong's story)

"Hey, how's it going Mr. Navy?" Jaehyun asks Taeyong through FaceTime as he sits with the rest of the group.
"I should ask you? What's with this emergency meeting?" Jaehyun shrugs.
"I'm not sure but everyone seems really somber and they wanted you to be a part of it so I feel like it's bad." Taeyong frowns.
"Is everyone there?" Jaehyun looks around.
"Taeil isn't here yet but you can say hi to everyone else." He passes the phone around so everyone can talk to him before it gets back in his hands.

"I miss you and my enlistment date is coming quick. I don't know when I'll be able to see you in person again." Jaehyun says with a pout.
"We will make some time. Maybe I can come and see you off? I'll try anyway." Jaehyun nods then clears his throat.
"The managers are coming in now." He says softly. He waves before turning the camera so he can see what's going on.

"Is everyone here?" Their manager asks, his voice a little shaky. He knows the bond this group has formed over the years and knows this will be a devastating blow.
"Taeil isn't here." Haechan chimes in looking around. He shakes his head.
"He isn't needed for this meeting." All sit with questions in their minds, some even thinking that maybe they are planning some sort of surprise for him.
He takes a deep breath and looks at their faces with what only could be described as sympathy.

"We got word late last night that Taeil has been charged in a crime." There are collective gasps around the room. Taeyong can see that the camera has a slight shake to it, he knows this is going to affect Jaehyun as one of the younger members. He hopes it isn't too serious.
"Wh-what kind of charges?" Mark asks as he clutches Haechan's hand tightly. He sighs again, he knows this is going to sting and he, being one of the few that knew about Haechan's situation knows it will hit him hard.
"He is being charged with sexual assault." More gasps fill the room, along with a lot of tears.
"We talked to him last night and he's stepping down from 127. This is all I can tell you at this time."
He looks around to see everyone doing their best to support each other. His heart cracks when he sees Haechan curled into Mark's arms, clinging like his life depends on him.

Jaehyun now has Taeyong facing him again. Both of them crying, wishing they could hold each other in this moment.
"Now we all know when we put out the press release fans will be all over this. There is going to be a lot of hateful words said and maybe even accusations against some of you. Mark and Haechan, we know this is a difficult situation and you are getting ready for your Dream tour to resume so please do your best to support each other and the younger members of the team." Mark nods as he continues to pet Haechan's hair.

"Jaehyun, I know this is supposed to be your time to shine but we will have to limit some of the fan interactions as of now, until this calms down." He feels like he was punched in the stomach. Taeyong can see the lost look in his eyes and wants to hold him so bad.

They are dismissed so everyone starts to leave, Jaehyun sits frozen in place.
"Jae, baby. What I wouldn't give to be there with you right now." He breaks into a sob. This was his moment. He's literal days away from releasing his album, all of his teasers have been met with success and he wants to make the rounds. Do the shows and meet with fans but now he doesn't even know if he will be able to perform, not just because of limited fan service but because his heart is so heavy. He loves his job, this is what he signed up for. The long hours, his teen years a blur of training and practice, this is what he wanted. But now with his enlistment just weeks away he feels like it's all slipping from his grasp.

He shakes his head.
"I'll be ok, I'll get through this. Just, I love you Taeyong. Please just think of yourself and take care ok? I don't want you getting hurt if you are distracted." Taeyong sighs.
"You know the team is always on my mind, you especially. I'm going to call you every chance I get ok? So be prepared to be annoyed of me." Jaehyun lets out a watery chuckle.
"You know I could never tire of hearing your voice. I'll just do the best I can and try to block out the negativity, I hope you can do the same?" He asks as he wipes at his eyes.
"Of course, weren't we always taught that no matter how much pain, mentally or physically we are in, we don't show the fans? We will get through this. And remember, no matter what is said, these are his actions alone, we don't have to carry this burden." Jaehyun nods and says goodbye after a few more I love you's are shared.

As soon as Taeyong is off face time with him he checks to see how much time he has left. They only gave him an hour for this meeting so it is limited. He calls each member individually and tries to offer comforting words to all of them. His heart breaks further hearing the state of the younger two. As soon as he's done he breaks down. He's angry, betrayed and grieving the loss of a brother. He knows that even if he wasn't disgusted by his actions, he could no longer be his friend because he's a criminal.

He immediately goes to his commanding officer to submit a leave form. He is immediately denied. He just recently had leave and this does not qualify for a family emergency. He's devastated. He has to wait another two weeks before he can be released to see his second family. He's known these men for so long, they practically grew up together, some were literal babies when they joined. He wants to be there as their leader, friend and brother to provide support while also getting much needed support for himself.

He's going crazy, day in and day out, all he thinks about is the situation. He's still in shock that sweet Taeil of all people could do this. Yes, even to them he had a good boy persona, he never once let on that he had a darker side.
He calls the members whenever he can to offer support but as the weeks have gone by he feels like they are slowly healing without him, of course he knows it's different for Mark and Haechan but at least the others are doing better. Jaehyun has been immersing himself in work as much as possible the only time he actually allows himself a breakdown is when he talks with Taeyong. Hearing his voice knowing he's so far away from his reach brings out the emotions like nothing else could.

As Jaehyun gets home after a long day of promoting, his whole body feels numb. He needs sleep and a lot of it but he has to pack to go to another fashion show in Europe. He loves getting to do all these things, he just wishes his company would schedule in a little rest.
He opens his door and drops his bag as he takes his shoes off. He sluggishly walks into the living room to turn on a lamp and jumps out of his skin when he sees a man on his couch, more specifically his man.
"Baby? What are you doing here?"

He sees him sitting with a big smile, snuggled into his furry blanket that is barely covering his buzzed hair. He looks just as cute as he always has.
"I'm here for a couple days. I needed to see you." He stands as Jaehyun walks closer and leaves a soft kiss on his lips. He pulls him close and hugs him tightly to his chest.
"God I miss you." Taeyong nods as he starts to tear up.
"How are you feeling? I feel so bad that I can't be here for you guys. This has to have been the worst timing. Why after I'm gone? I'm supposed to be here, I'm the leader of NCT and as your boyfriend, I'm supposed to be there in times like this." Jaehyun shushes him as he is starting to get hysterical.
"Baby it's ok. You have to serve your time, just like the rest of us. We all understand." He shakes his head.

"Well, I am not ok Jae. This has been swimming in my head this whole time. Like, it's like a fog. Like this black cloud hanging over me. I feel like, as a leader, I failed the team. I failed the fans. Like I could have done something to stop this from ever happening, but I didn't." Jaehyun sits them down on the couch, still holding him tightly.
"Babe, there is no way you could have seen this coming. Not to mention, by the timing of it, we were all busy at that time. Yes you are the leader of this group but that doesn't make you our babysitter. You can't be everywhere at once. He made that choice. He violated an innocent victim. He knew of the consequences for that and still did it. And I don't give a shit if he was drunk or high on drugs even, there is no excuse. He is the only one to blame." Taeyong lays his head on his shoulder.

"I just don't understand why it hurts so much." He whispers.
"He was our oldest brother. We looked up to him, we admired his voice and cherished his presence, and he did something inexcusable. Of course it's going to hurt. We have a right to mourn the loss, not of what he is now but how we knew him before." Taeyong sniffles.
"We made so many precious memories as a team, and when I look back on them now they are stained."

Jaehyun holds him long into the night, his schedule already forgotten. He will take a later flight or even the next day so he can comfort the one person who wishes to comfort the world.
"Baby, let's go to bed." He finally says to Taeyong who is almost sleeping in his arms already.
"Will you still hold me?" He asks sleepily.
"There is nothing else I'd rather do baby."

As the weeks progress, they all slowly start to heal from the initial shock and their sadness, in most cases has turned to anger. Jaehyun is still busy but manages to take some time for himself.
Taeyong still struggles but it has lessened some. He still wrestles with a tremendous amount of guilt and figures that probably will never go away.
He tries to rely on his new found brotherhood in the navy and it works some too, but his heart will always be with 127.