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by its_petrichor

by its_petrichor

I woke up this morning convinced that those six hours of sleep I got last night will have shoved the pieces of my broken heart under the rug
and I'll be ready to pretend like yesterday never happened
like how the two of you arguing in front me didn't induce my panic attack

and how you didn't apologise
how you left me alone in my dark bedroom gasping for air
how when I came out of it with tear-stained cheeks you didn't so much as ask me if I was okay

but right as I was pouring water over my instant coffee
it hit me all over again
and what's interesting
twice as hard as it had the day before

Martha asked me if I was alright
and so it was this morning when another soul witnessed me saying that my best friend was not really my best friend

I suppose I just can't handle the loneliness
can't figure out what to do with all this pain
can't believe this is the person I have a matching tattoo with
I never thought that one would be the one I'm ashamed of

and my god
the grief