infinite shades of blue (journal part I)

~47~

and even though I fell like four times and tore my flesh open in seven places and can barely stand up at the given moment
it was a good day

we were outside
the sun on my never tanned but always burnt skin
for the first time in years felt like a blessing instead of a curse

no
I wouldn't call it progress
or
healing

I'd call it an act out of fear of staying stuck in my four walls forever no matter how comfortable and safe they make me feel

life is happening outside the window
dad always says

and the thing that comes the hardest to admit
is that
he's right