I wish I could look at you
and tell you that I am numb
that you're not capable of hurting me anymore
no matter how hard you try
that I am immune
that I don't struggle to breathe when the smoke of your cigarettes hit my face
that I don't hate you
that I don't care about the bottles you hid seconds before I came into the room
though
that would be a lie
I've never been good at lying
you know it
you know what I turn into when you do me wrong
you know the sting of the words I say when you do me wrong
you know the cold stare filled with hatred and eyes so dead pointed anywhere but you when you do me wrong
and yet
you do it anyway
you do me wrong
I wish I could look at you
and tell you that I am numb
