infinite shades of blue (journal part I)

~188~

I can't seem to stop thinking about London
I cannot sit still knowing that life is out there
but I am here

it is not that I hate my life here
it is rather this other something that creeps upon me whenever I leave home
and this something other whispers to me
you can have it if you want
it is yours if only you will take it

I dream of the me in some other universe who takes it
she lives her best life
she finds her way in the world
she is happy
and then I let her go

because the me here
in my tiny college bedroom
she can be those things too
she can have all of it
and I'll be damned if I give up before she gets it