infinite shades of blue (journal part I)

~137~

it hit me one day
don't remember exactly when
but it was one of those things that knock the wind out of you

and it was that
I need to let go of her
I need to let go of the girl I think I could've been if I hadn't got sick
if I hadn't gone to art school
if I hadn't starved myself and sliced my skin
I need to let go of the girl who ate well and exercised every day and whom my dad called skinny

I need to let go of the girl that I am not