I remember the day you left my mom
I was six
she cried for hours after you walked out the door
she was wearing that coral robe of hers
we lied in bed and she let me play games on your computer
I know she lied a lot
I also know that the thing you hate the most in this world is being lied to
I never quite knew whether I would return home from pre-school to a warzone or not
I mostly only remember you fighting
but there was something about coming home to dinner that mom had made for me and you
and sitting down at the table
together
yeah I do not remember many good moments
but I do remember the feeling of having a family
I remember the wonderful feeling of having both parents beside me every day
I guess I was too little to read the signs
too little to understand why mom often seemed so weird
I remember noticing her weird moods and asking her why are you so suspicious mom?
only when I got older I noticed the bottles
she wasn't being suspicious
she was just drunk
you'd think I'd have gotten over it
but it was maybe just a month ago when I came home from school
and stared into the hallway mirror with my coat and boots still on and I just cried
because mom wasn't home
she hasn't been for 11 years
