BURN (Wattys2015?)

for a moment

I'm trying prose again...beware. XD

For a moment, when I look at her she's not the woman I met in a bar, or the Kid's mother, or Lana. For a moment she transforms into something beautiful, something I don't have.

For a moment, we're not cooking product in a dingy shack, the wallpaper isn't peeling, and the floorboards don't creak. For a moment I'm back on the mountain, watching the sunset and thinking of her (as always).

For a moment, I'm not smoking an old cigarette, the taste bitter and stale. For a moment I'm not standing there, feeling lonely and lost and bitter all at the same time. For a moment I'm back a few months ago, when things were happy and I wasn't plagued with demons.

For a moment, she's not slapping me and asking where my dirty mouth has been, and I'm not smugly replying "all over you". For a moment, I'm playing Uno with my sister and we're twelve and all is good.

For a moment, I'm not jerking awake at night, terrified. For a moment I'm half asleep in the morning, talking to Her and everything is okay.

For a moment, I don't hear the laughter, the whispers, the taunts, the screams that no one else hears. For a moment I'm young again, free of all these burdens and troubles.

For a moment, I'm not scratching my arms until they bleed because the worms in my head I see on my arms won't come out. For a moment, I'm laughing to something She said.

For a moment, I'm not here or there or anywhere. I'm not broken or dying or already dead. For a moment, I'm happy, lost in my own memory.

And just like that, the moment is gone.