the ocean

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she tells me she can't swim

"we can't all be mr. athletic" she says

"but you're a ballerina, that's the peak of athleticism" i say

so i tell her i'll teach her

but she's scared, it's splashed all over her face

her pupils are dilated, her hand shakes

she can't swim because she fears drowning

but if she learns how to swim, she won't have to fear drowning

because as long as she can keep her head above water

she'll be okay

the water isn't as rough as usual

it's calm and a little cold

her teeth chatter but not from a chill

and i show her how to stay afloat

and how to swim

she gets it okay and can do it decently

but her fear is clouding and clenching her muscles

"relax" i tell her

i back away a little bit

to give her some room

(but not too far where i can't get her

if i need to)

"i can't do it" she says

and she starts to sink

but i'm there to catch her

she's crying now

but i hold her tight

and tell her she'll be okay

she clings desperately to me

"you can stand up now" i say

"your feet can touch the bottom"

but she doesn't stand up

she just clings to me

like i'm the only safe thing in the world

and she tells me why she fears the ocean

and it's not just because she refuses to swim



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