it's not my fault you can't be courageous enough to forgive me

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"i don't forgive you, i never will"

you have every right to say that

i guess

but i still don't understand it

because what i did wasn't as bad

as what you make it out to be

"i don't have a grudge against you"

you tell me that, but obviously you do

because otherwise why won't you forgive me?

holding a grudge is the the basic definition of unforgiveness

i just don't understand why you lie to my face like that

but i guess i've never really understood you

"i've moved on from this"

no, i don't think you really have

because if you moved on you'd had forgiven me

or maybe it's not really me who you need to forgive

maybe you just can't forgive yourself

but, i want you to know

that i've forgiven myself

and i can't help that your bitterness is only going to hurt you

i really hope you don't think it's going to hurt me

because it's not going to hurt me

i just thought it'd be easier to move on

see, i've forgiven you

"but i never did anything wrong"

you aren't blameless in this, darling

we've both screwed up

but i've forgiven you

and i've forgiven myself

and i want you to be happy

but you can't be happy if you won't forgive me

because in not forgiving someone

you're letting the past eat you away

you want to know something?

i love you

and i forgive you

i love you

and i forgive you

even if you won't love yourself

and forgive me

i'm sorry for what i've done

but you still refuse to forgive me

and i'm sorry that that's how you're going to be

i'm sorry how unhappy you are

and i'm sorry that i'm going to move on

even if you refuse to

truth be told,

i pity you



QUOTE TO THINK ON:

"People withhold their forgiveness, thinking that it makes them badass. But really, the unwillingness

to forgive is merely the wishing that things were better. You wish that you had better, you wish that

someone else were better so they could have treated you better... it's you making wishes. And that's

not badass. To forgive is to be able to look at the person and say "I accept that you weren't any better

than what you were", "I accept what you were you and couldn't have been what I wished you to be", "I

accept that things were the way they were and weren't any better." The ability to forgive is intertwined

with the ability to accept the reality of the way things are/ the way a person is or was. You stop wishing

things and you just accept. And hope is what says to you: "One day you'll have what's better."


--C. JoyBell C.


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