BURN (Wattys2015?)

real talk: positive and negative

Real talk here. This isn't a poem, sorry if that's disappointing.

Also, please forgive spelling/grammar/wording mistakes. I rarely double-check. I don't edit anything. I just start writing and I don't stop until I'm out of words.

Alright...now onto this letter to my beloved readers.

I just want to apologize.

A big chunk of my poetry has been...depressing. A lot of my poems are suicide poems, or otherwise just sad and tearful strings of meaningless words.
Originally, I wrote my poetry just for myself. It's a great therapy program, and it helps me release a lot of built up emotions that society would rather I not express. (society sucks, by the way.)

And I still write for myself. That hasn't changed.

But I've come to realize something big.

First off, I saw that I had somehow jumped 4,000 reads overnight. Last I checked, I was at 53K and now I'm at 57K (thanks, bros!). That doesn't mean 57K people have read my work, because I have about 400 pieces in this collection. Roughly, that translates to about 142 individual readers. But there are a lot of people who've just read a handful of poems, etc--so let's round it up to 300 individuals. That's not an enormous amount, but still. That's a lot of people who come into contact with my work.

Secondly, I was on the Poetry section the other day. I saw that a lot of dark and depressing poetry was the most popular. I'm not going to name names or titles or users, but this really got me down. I understand that poets write depressing poetry because poets are generally depressed (there are exceptions to this rule, of course) and it's a release for them. And people read depressing poetry because they are also depressed and if they're not depressed they want to pretend they are or they just want to feel. Reading poetry is a release for readers, too.

The thing is, neither party (the poets or the reads) really benefits. I mean, yes, it works as a release. But a "release" is a temporary thing. It's not permanent. Snorting cocaine is a release. Does the high last? Nah.Does writing suicide poems stop people from committing suicide? Well, I'm not sure. I guess in some cases it does. But does it really help? No, not in the long run.

As a poet who administers pretty words to 300 individuals, I have a duty. Or, at least, I feel like I have a duty. A duty to try to change someone's world. I have a chance to help someone. And I want to take it.

So I'm going to write depressed poetry when I'm depressed. Happy poetry when I'm happy. In-between poetry when I'm...in-between. But you can bet I'm going to try to start reaching people. Wait, no. There is no try, only 'do'. I'm going to reach people. I'm going to make them smile and I'm going to make them appreciate themselves.

Because what good am I, if I'm not being good to others?

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I have tried in the past to spread light. But all I did was try, and I didn't try as hard as I could have. The hardest trying you can do is doing. This time, I'm just going to do.