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Chapter 23 Flinches and Shades Of Purple

WARNING:This chapter contains mentions of self harm.

We were silent for a little while, my hand throbbed and It hurt to bend it. 'Guys some girl just walked out holding her face crying, what's happened?' Turps asked walking in taking his coat off. Smith walked in quickly, 'What the hell happened?' He asked kind of knowing what had happened. 'Abbey landed one on her.' Duncan said before leaving the room. 'You what? You hit her? What the fuck Abbey?' Smith said raising his voice. 'Did she hit you?' He asked I shook my head my hand hurting a lot. 'I will be back in a minute don't go anywhere.' Smith said leaving the room and heading down the corridor. Hannah and Lewis looked at me, I felt so guilty. 'We have some work you do you four need to sort this out and fast. I will talk to you later.' Hannah said in a very stern voice and her, Lewis and Turps left the room. 'Thank you.' Kim uttered still sat on the chair I slumped on the chair next to her a thousand thoughts racing through my head. I looked over at Ross and he had red eyes and was also drifting off, I could tell where this was going, and I think I was heading in the same direction.

Smith came back without his bag and keys and shut the door behind him. 'I leave for a little while and everything goes to shit.' He said fairly angrily. 'Yeah you leave and everything turns to shit. That rings a bell.' Kim started, 'Abbey did us a favour that bitch was talking so much crap about us lot she had it coming.' Kim shouted at him. I was on a different planet, my hand was killing me and I was having flash backs of living back with my uncle. I felt my heart rate increase as images flashed before me, everything around me disappeared. 'Abbey!' Smith shouted and in the state I was in I panicked and flinched away from him as if her was going to swing for me but he didn't do anything, not even lift a hand, my flashbacks got mixed up with reality. I stood up and ran out of the room still very panicked, I didn't really know what was going on now, I just ran down to the office and shut the office door behind me. Trott must have left, the office was empty. I sat down on the sofa and brought my knees up and wrapped my arms around my legs ad rocked slightly.

***

I had lost all concept of time walst I was sat in the office alone. The visions had subsided and my heart rate had decreased back to a reasonable state but no one had come in yet. It didn't feel like I had been in here long but I didn't really know. I sat for a little while later until there was a knock on the door. Smith poked his head around the corner, 'Hey It's me.' He said and walked in and stood just in front of the now closed door. 'Are you alright?' He asked, my hand was still very pain full and had swollen and gone a light shade of purple, I folded my arms hiding it and nodded. 'I am sorry I shouted at you.' He said sitting on the sofa. 'It's fine.' I said very quietly. 'It's not. What happened? Did you think I was going o hit you?' He asked concerned, 'you held your hands up as if to protect yourself.' I shook my head, 'I pretty much had a nightmare but I was awake.' I told him which made no sense really but he nodded like he understood. 'Ross is going home, he is a little worse for wear, Katie is coming by to pick him up, and you are going too. Trott and I are going to work here but I will be home as fast as possible if you need me but we should be back home by seven.' He told me. 'Hannah wants to talk to you, she is waiting outside.' He told me I nodded and he called her in. I was expecting her to moan and shout at me but she did the opposite, she told me that what I did was brave. She wasn't too keen on the whole hitting thing but she was proud that I stood up to her.

After Hannah had finished and left Smith grabbed my stuff and we walked up the corridor where Kim and Ross were waiting. 'Katie has just got here. She knows what happened, I told her you two just chill out and take it easy.' Kim said holding the door open as we all walked out. Ross still looked distant and I still felt a bit wobbly. Smith and Kim walked us out to the car and we both got into the back and headed home.

Nobody spoke in the car. When we got in I went to the living room with Katie but Ross went upstairs. 'Do you want a drink or anything?' Katie asked me as I sat down putting my bag to the side. She went into the kitchen and I pulled my hand out of my pocket, it was now a definite shade of purple across my knuckled and swollen. It still really hurt; I had taken some tablets walst I was in the office alone, Smith kept them in his desk draw. I got up off of the sofa and headed upstairs to find Ross and see if he was OK.

He wasn't in the attic which is where I thought he was. His and Kim's door was ever so slightly open and when I peered through the gap he was sat on the edge of the bed with his back towards the door. I knocked lightly putting my violet hand in my pocket which was fairly painful. There was no reply but I opened the door more and walked in slightly, he didn't turn around, he was looking down. I walked over and sat down next to him and he shuffled just before I sat down. 'How you doing?' I asked him and he nodded, 'Better.' He just about managed to say. 'I am sorry about how I reacted.' I told him, we were both talking quietly. 'You shouldn't be sorry, thank you. I thought she wouldn't leave.' He uttered and I nodded. 'What were you up to before I came in.' I asked. He shook his head, 'Nothing, just thinking.' He said, he moved his hand to his side and held it there, similarly to before I walked in. 'I can understand why you left her.' I said after a slight silence. 'She is a nasty piece of work.' I carried on. 'Yeah she makes your life hell, I am just glad she has gone, I don't ever want to see her again.' He said and I agreed with him. 'So what were you doing before I came in?' I asked again since I didn't believe that he was telling me the truth. 'Nothing.' He said again, 'you were holding your right hand side and thinking. What's up?' I asked and he sighed 'remembering. Looking at memories and remembering the past.' He said in a very cryptic manner. 'Like a memory box? I have a memory box.' I told him. 'Not like a memory box.' He sighed, 'can you keep a secret. I proper one, no one can know.' He said looking at me. I could tell by looking in his eyes that he was very serious and I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out where this was going. 'I promise I will take it to the grave.' I said he sighed and stood up and turned so his right hand side was facing me, he sighed again and lifted his shirt. There were a number of small scars up his right hand side, I realised what they were, they looked like pretty old scars none of them recent which was my first worry I didn't say anything I just looked until he put his shirt down. 'You didn't react the way I thought.' He said sitting back down next to me, I took a deep breath and took my arm out of my sleeve and twisted my arm slightly, I also had similar scars close to my shoulder, they were old to, nothing recent. 'Damn.' He said, I put my arm back in my shirt and took my shoe and sock off of my left foot which also had fairly small scars on. 'had to hide them, otherwise school would get involved or my uncle would notice.' I told him. 'Yours look like they are from later than mine.' Ross said and I nodded, 'I only stopped a few months before I showed up here. You?' I asked 'I started just when Lucy got worse and stopped a couple of months after she had gone.' He said, 'I guess Smith doesn't know?' He asked and I shook my head. 'Kim doesn't know either, managed to hide it.' I nodded, 'Yeah I have too been slightly awkward at times but managed.