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Chapter 59 Lumps and More Doctors

Lewis and I were playing catch with a model brain that we had found and Hannah and Smith were sat anxiously waiting. We had been for half an hour now, it was gone past lunch time and heading on for two and we were getting a bit hungry. We started talking about food and I felt my belly rumble. Dr Manning came in followed by another doctor whi was wearing a shirt and had his sleeves rolled upwith a pen in his shirt pocket. 'It's a bit busy in here isn't it.' He said and Lewis put the brain back on the desk slyly. 'Do you want Hannah and I to wait outside?' Lewis asked and I shrugged my shoulders, 'Come on Hannah let's go and get coffee, if you need us we will be just down here.' Lewis told me and they left the room. 'Hi my name is Dr Walsh.' The New doctor introduced shaking mine and Smith's hand walst Dr Manning sat in his chair. Dr Walsh had a slight Scottish accent when he spoke, normally at the end of words. 'So what's the verdict?' Smith asked and I looked at both doctors. 'We have some good news and some bad news.' Dr Manning said flicking through the file which now had images from my scans and stuff. I felt my stomach sink, 'Let's start with the anxiety, we have been able to prescribe you with some medication that can help stop the attacks when they happen.' Dr Manning handed me a small bottle along with a small slip of paper. 'Is that the good news?' I asked, 'one of two.' Dr Walsh said putting his hands in his pockets. 'From the tests and investigations that we have carried out we have found a small lump on one of your ovaries and a slightly larger one on the tube on the opposite side.' He said, I looked at Smith and his face drained of all colour and I froze and I felt panic build up. 'The good news is, they are not massively dangerous, they are not cancerous.' Dr Walsh told me and I let my shoulders fall. 'They don't have any immediate health risks.' Dr Manning carried on, 'But them being there limits your chances of ever conceiving, this is why Dr Walsh is here. He specialises in this area.' I looked at Dr Walsh, I dare not look at Smith since I would break down here and now. 'Yeah, if we remove them it doesn't increase the chances of conceiving but our worry is that if they get any larger then we could be facing a larger problem in the future.' He explained. 'I think we will give you a few minutes to process this before we talk about anything else, it's a lot to take in.' Dr Manning stood up and they both left to room.

I gripped the mattress of the bed and looked down watching tears hit my jeans making wet patches where they fell. I slowly looked up and Smith who was sat in the corner looking into space, he turned his head to face me. He stood up and stood in front of me and he put a hand either side of me head and rested his forehead against mine. I started sobbing and he put his arms around me, I could tell he was crying too, he kept sniffing and I could feel his chest shake when he breathed. I buried my head into his neck/shoulder as I cried, I heard the door open. 'What's happened?' Lewis asked as he and Hannah walked in. I held onto Smith even tighter gripping onto his shirt. 'What's going on?' Hannah asked her voice was already wobbly. Smith slowly began to pull away and he wiped his eyes and I pulled my hoodie sleeves over my hands still sobbing and sniffing. Smith took a deep breath and sat down next to me on the bed. 'They found one lump of one ovary and a larger one on the opposite tube.' He said between breathes. Hannah put her hands over her mouth and nose and Lewis just stood there in disbelief. 'They are not cancerous but even if they are removed she can't have kids.' Smith managed to regain some composition towards the end. 'Bloody hell.' Lewis said, Hannah gave me the biggest hug and she started crying to, 'I am so sorry.' She kept saying over and over.

When Hannah let go her makeup had run slightly and she wiped her face with her sleeve. 'What happens now?' Lewis asked and I shrugged my shoulders. Him and Hannah sat down, Hannah was resting her head on him and he had an arm around her and Smith had one arm around me and a hand on my thigh his thumb rubbing slowly comforting me. Nobody said anything we just waited until the doctors returned.

Dr Walsh walked in without Dr Manning this time. He sat down in the chair that Dr Manning was sat in. 'I know that it's a lot and it's horrible to hear and I can only try to make the situation more bearable for you. There is the option to leave it for now and there is also the option to operate sooner.' He told us all. 'This doesn't mean that it is impossible for you to have children it just means that it is dramatically less likely.' He told me and I nodded. 'You have an amazing support system here make sure you use it. I don't want to hurry you into a decision for the operation so when you are ready we can do it. It is a very small procedure, over in a couple of hours and you can be back to normal in a couple of days and maybe even home the same day.' He told me and I nodded. 'How soon can we do it?' I asked him, 'Well I don't know, if we can do it today, it depends if we have a team ready. The chances are we can do it in the morning, pretty early so that you are home by the evening.' He suggested and I looked at Smith, 'I would rather it be over and done with.' I told him, I think I shocked the others slightly. 'Ok then, I will book you in, if you stay in overnight so that you're ready for the morning.' He said standing up and leaving the room.

He closed the door, 'I am staying here.' Smith said and I nodded, 'You two can go home, we will text you tomorrow after the operation.' I told Hannah and Lewis. 'You sure about this?' Lewis asked and I nodded. He and Hannah stood up, Lewis hugged me and so did Hannah before they left. 'We should let everyone else know.' I told Smith and he nodded and went to get my phone and sat back down next to me. I called Ross, it rung a couple of times before he picked up. 'Hello?' he answered, 'Hey is Trott with you?' he said he was and I told him to put his phone on speaker. 'OK, so they have found two lumps on my ovaries.' I just said it rather than trying to beat around the bush. 'They are not cancourous which is good. But they do mean having kids will be difficult.' My voice began to wobble. 'I am going in for surgery tomorrow morning and even then it doesn't increase my chances.' I finished and there was nothing. 'Fuck.' Trott said. 'Can we come and see you?' Ross asked, I looked at the time, it was four o'clock. 'I don't know, I will be home tomorrow it's only a small operation. Smith is going to stay with me tonight. Can you guys let the others know, like Katie and stuff, Lewis and Hannah are on their way home now.' I told them. 'Yeah of course. Good luck tomorrow.' Trott said, 'Yeah good luck.' Ross sounded different.