One Direction Preferences✔️

Soundtrack Series • Take Me Home • Heart Attack

Harry: Here it is again. You can't even count how many times you've woken up to this news. They have split yet again. Surely this would mean that they are over officially. You can't be sure, though. You thought the last time they ended things would be just that, the last. It wasn't though, so what does that say about this time? You sit at the breakfast bar, Sydney in the kitchen making her own food. You've actually talked with each other this week. And now you have something legitimate to talk about instead of the small talk you've been trying. "They broke up, again," you say, as you take another bite of cereal, continuing to scroll through the article you had been reading. "Are you serious?" She inquires, turning around from the microwave, knowing exactly who you were talking about. "Yep," you confirm, turning your phone around to show her the headline. "Why the hell does he even go back to her if they can't stay together?" She questions, and you shrug your shoulders. That's a question you've been asking yourself for a while now. "I have no idea; it's never felt right though." "Of course it's never felt right to you, you're in love with him." You roll your eyes. "I'm not in love with him," you counter. "Bull...shit." Sydney stares at you, her eyebrows raised. "You tell each other that you love each other all of the time." Not all of the time, you don't even talk to him on a regular basis, even though he's been around more. "Telling him I love him, and being in love with him are two different types of love," you inform her. She shakes her head, not believing your explanation. "What?" You counter, knowing she was judging. "Nothing," she says as she turns back around to get her food out of the microwave. You aren't in love with Harry. Yes, you have thought about being in a relationship with him, but that doesn't mean you are in love with him. 'In love' takes more time, even more than you have been around him. You continue scrolling, reading about how everything went wrong. "They're saying she's already moved out," you say out loud as you continue to read. "Of course she has, that girl is a trip," Sydney says as she takes a seat beside you on a barstool. "I expect her to be on TV tomorrow, running her mouth again about how life with him was so hard," you reveal. "She's done that?" Sydney questions in astonishment, knowing that the girl couldn't possibly have anything negative to say about him, or life with him. "Oh yeah," you begin. "She bashes him every time they break up. He ignores it, but I don't know how." "He's a good person, of course you wouldn't know anything about that," she teases and you glare at her. "I just feel bad for him, he doesn't deserve having to put up with someone like that." You honestly do feel sympathy for him. "It's been his choice though. He was the one to say 'yes' to getting back together with her, over and over again, however many times it's been." "Far too many," you add. "Well, see, you shouldn't feel bad, he's done this to himself." "Doesn't mean he's deserved the outcome," you say, softly, still fighting this battle for him. "And you're acting like this, yet you still say you aren't in love with him." Sydney takes a bite of her breakfast as she stares over at you, eyebrows still raised. "Stop it," you counter, turning from her, wanting this conversation over with.
Liam: You've heard him say these words over and over again. You're done with them. You don't want them in your life anymore. "Liam," you begin softly. You've watched him for the last hour lead up to starting his apology again. "Yes?" He looks up at you, he hadn't ever made very much eye contact with you while going though these motions. "Please, don't," you tell him. The pixels on the screen clear up and you smile. "I've got to say this, though," he says, wanting to continue. Liam," you say again, the smile still on your face. "Please, just let me say this, and I promise I won't bring it up anymore," he tells you. You shake your head. "No, I don't want you to bring it up anymore. What happened, happened, but it's all in the past. You have nothing more to apologize for. You've been forgiven. I have told you that over and over, yet you still, for some reason, feel the need to continuously bring it up and apologize." "I just feel so guilty," he admits. And now you feel bad. You know this is hurting him, but you can't let him think that he needs to apologize every other week when you have already forgiven him for what he's done. It took you a long time to get to this point. Your heart hurt for months. But you've made it here. You took a break from him and figured it out. You found out that you needed him in your life. It hurt too much without him. You just want him to understand this. "Liam, please. Please know that you do not have to feel like that anymore. It's all in the past, it's over. I am here, in your flat, for a reason. I want you in my life so I took the steps to forgive you, and forget it." "How can you forget something so terrible?" "Well I can't when you're always trying to bring it back up," you admit. "I'm sorry," he laments. You laugh. "Stop apologizing!" "I'm-...." You glare at the screen. He holds his hands up in the air with a smile. You hadn't seen a smile on his face since right after saying 'hello'. "I don't want you to bring it up anymore, please, for my sake. Can you do that for me?" Maybe making this about you will help him more. He nods, "Yeah, I won't bring it up anymore." You hope he can keep to this. It has taken you so long to move on from everything he had put you through. And now it's all back in your head thanks to him bringing it back up. You can't possibly stay angry with him, there's just no way. "Thank you." The smile on your face makes his grow wider. "We've got to do this more often. I've been missing your face, and you know since you won't come to a show, I guess this is the only way I get to actually see you. Well besides the pictures they post of you online." "Yeah, I love those so much," you say sarcastically as you shake your head. "Well if it weren't for them I'd forget what you look like," he jokes. "If only you were that lucky," you counter playfully. The flirting between the two of you has become more common and even easier to respond to. It's never anything heavy, only fun. It's talk the two of you used to have, before the blow up, before Mark. "I would never say not seeing your face was lucky," he admits. You feel your face flush. Yeah, that's definitely a comment from before. "You think you're so smooth," you tell him. He shrugs his shoulders, "Or honest."
Niall: It doesn't usually take him this long to pick up. With each ring, your heart beats faster. "You don't usually call this early," Stephen says sleepily. You knew you would be waking him up. "I can't come over and work today," you reveal through your emotions, you were trying to hold them back. "What's wrong?" He questions seriously. "It's just not a good day for me to be over there. I'm not going into work at all today," you tell him. "Do you need me to do anything?" He asks. "Just don't question anything, and let me get through today. Hopefully I can get back soon." "Soon? You mean you won't be coming back tomorrow?" You were hoping he wouldn't catch onto that. "I honestly don't know when I will be back, but I'm going to work on some things and then try and get back." The truth is you have no idea if you will be back with him or not. You certainly aren't going to admit that to him though. "Okay," he responds hesitantly. "Bye," you say before ending the call. As soon as you sit the phone down the tears begin to fall, just as they had all night and into the early morning. You can't handle the so called 'double life' you're leading. It's starting to get to you, really get to you. Just the thought of leaving Niall brings on the tears. He's been your life for over five years and there's nothing more you want than to be happy with him. You aren't happy with him though, only because you aren't with him at all. You thought this move would be a great thing, Niall even assured you that nothing would change in your relationship. He's never intentionally lied to you, but him telling you that nothing was going to change was certainly not the truth. You've broken your own heart this time. More tears come as you get out of bed and move into the bathroom. You need to run a bath, anything to bring comfort right now. As the water fills the tub you walk over to the mirror. Your reflection isn't anything you want to see at the moment. You hate yourself. How could you do this? How could you think that life without Niall is a life worth living? He's always supported you. Through all of this, Niall has supported you, even though you haven't even allowed him to. You feel so bad. You've never done this. You've never felt like this. You can't leave him. How would you even consider that? You turn from the mirror to see that the tub is nearly full. You turn the water off and strip down. You won't move from the spot for the rest of the day. You have the mind to go under and not come back up. You are so unsure of how to fix this situation. Is it even fixable? You are still with Niall, that hasn't changed. You can't imagine life without him. You can imagine a life with Stephen though, and that is what has gotten you into all of this. Thinking you could have a better life with Stephen was the worst thought to ever cross your mind. Of course it wouldn't be better, it wouldn't have Niall in it. You've got to distance yourself from Stephen. You have to finish his flat and be done with him. There's no other reason for the two of you to be together. When you finish the flat, you finish with Stephen. As this thought crosses your mind you know you now can't afford to spend the day not working on his place. But you can't find the strength to get out of your own flat. Your mind has been running a million miles a minute with thoughts of Niall. It's more than you have thought about him ever since the move. Things have to change.
Louis: He had texted you, even though he was just in the back of the bus. You had been riding shotgun on the long drives after shows, simply to have more company. You walk to the back, opening the door to the lounge to find him sitting in silence. FIFA wasn't blaring from the television, nor was there music playing from the record player. "Is something wrong?" You question quietly as you move into the longue. "Shut the door," he says softly. You close the door behind you and take a seat across from him, getting the feeling that this wasn't a situation where you wanted to be sitting beside him. "I have to tell you something," he reveals, and your heart jumps. What could he possibly say to you that needs to be done in a situation like this? "Okay," you say hesitantly. He sighs deeply and looks up from his lap, where he had been staring this entire time. He remains quiet still, as he looks into your eyes. "This isn't going to be easy to say, but I can't just keep pretending." "Pretending? Louis, what's going on?" In no way is this conversation going to go well. He sighs once more, and you wish he would just say whatever it is he has to say. "I'm not in love with you." You sit in shock. Deep silence fills the lounge. You aren't even sure you heard him correctly. "What?" You question as your emotions quickly start to get to you. "I'm sorry, I really am. I just needed a distraction from all of the shit going on. You were my distraction. I needed to do something to keep you around, which is why you have the ring." You feel tears coming down your cheeks, and you choke on the emotions that are now fully present. What the hell is happening? Your life just went from alright to complete shit in a matter of minutes. "So I'm nothing," you say through your tears as you try and comprehend what is going on. "No, you aren't nothing. I still enjoy having you around; I wouldn't have kept this going on for so long if I didn't. (Y/N), I'm really sorry. You absolutely don't deserve any of this. You have been nothing but supportive when I've been a complete ass to you." Silence falls once again. You aren't even sure you can form anymore words to say to him. A 'distraction', what does that even mean? He was using you. All of this time he has been using you to get through his own life, with no regard for your own. "I understand if you want to leave." "Oh you do?" You counter, more quickly than even you expected. "I know you're upset, but I hope you will eventually understand why I did what I did." You roll your eyes. A different emotion is starting to take over. You get up from your seat across from him, not bothering to even look at him as you walk out, shutting the door behind you. "We need to stop," you say as you reach Louis's driver. "Why? Is everything alright?" "I need to get on another bus." "Okay," he says, not asking anymore questions. He gets on the radio with the other drivers and tells them to pull over for a minute. "Harry is on the one in front of us, and Liam is behind us," he informs you as the bus rolls to a stop. "Thank you," you say as you wipe your tears. You look back at the closed door to the back lounge. He isn't coming after you, of course he isn't. You mean nothing to him. You step off of the bus and into the night air. Where to go? Left or right? You turn right and head to the bus behind the one you had just gotten off of. Liam's driver sees you walking towards the bus and he gets up to let you in. "He's in the back," he tells you and you try and form a smile. You walk to the back and knock on the closed door. It slides open and your tears fall once more as you are now face to face with Liam. He brings you into him, asking no questions.