One Direction Preferences✔️

Soundtrack Series • FOUR • Illusion

Harry: You didn't miss waking up in bed alone. Even in the short time you had spent with him on the road, you had gotten used to the morning company. That is the one thing you can count on during tour; you were always going to wake up with him beside you. He wouldn't be going anywhere. You had stuck by your rules though and come home. It was for the best. You had caused a lot of confusing emotions to come up with your actions back in Australia, and you both needed the distance between you. The loud ringing of your phone makes you jump slightly as you stand in front of the stove, doing your best not to burn the grilled cheese you were making. "Hi," you say once you turn back around after putting the call on speaker. "Hey, what are you up to?" "Just making some breakfast, what about you, it's awful late there?" You are getting better with figuring out these time zones. "I can't go to sleep tonight. I've tried already." "What's the problem?" You jokingly question. "You, I can't stop thinking about you." Oh. Message received; there were no jokes here. "That's dangerous," you respond honestly. "Tell me about it. I keep thinking about how I'm going to convince you that I'm in love with you." If you had been holding the phone you would have dropped it then. Your eyes are as big as golf balls as you turn around to stare at the phone. "Harry, you know as well as I do that this does not need to go beyond what it is." "This is the real deal, (y/n). I know it is. I know what I am feeling, and I know it's because of you." You couldn't believe what he was saying. Well, technically you can, it's Harry. His hopeless romantic ways always bring this sort of talk out of him, but it's never directed towards you. You couldn't count how many times you had heard him talk like this about other girls. Yes, it hurt you just a little, but he is your best friend. He wouldn't be talking about you like that. Scratch that, he shouldn't be talking about you like that. That's exactly what he's doing right now. How are you supposed to respond? "I guess it's a good thing I got out of there when I had the chance then if you're going to start talking like this." You can't help but see the humor in the situation; it's how you deal with feeling uncomfortable. He knows this trick of yours. Are you forgetting how long he's known you? "I'm not going anywhere," he responds. "Well I would hope not. I kind of like having you around." "I'm not talking about like that, and you know it. I'm not going to stop thinking about you like this." "Harry, please, you are just letting your emotions talk for you. You may be feeling like this now, but it will change. You don't need to be 'in love' with me." "Like I have a choice! I wouldn't want one if I did, but you can't help who you fall in love with." Oh, great. He's reached romantic novel quoting status. There is no hope in saving this conversation now. "Trust me, you will have the same feelings soon. It's just taking you a little while to get used to the idea of us being more than just friends." "Because that's what we need to stay. That's what we are going to stay. Harry, we are not in love." You are trying so hard here, but you are very aware of how stubborn the person on the other end is. "Not yet." You roll your eyes at his words and turn back to the stove. "Damn it!" You shout with frustration, turning the eye off and removing your now burnt grilled cheese from the heat. "You burnt your breakfast, didn't you?" He questions in satisfaction. "Shut up." "You should have just believed me," he taunts. "Go to bed!" You shout, walking over to the phone and ending the call; you were done with him.
Liam: You sit across the room from him in silence, which is something you are getting used to with him. Not yesterday though, yesterday you shouted, and shouted loud. You had received a text from Mark shortly after arriving to Liam's apartment complex telling you that he was sorry for whatever he did to make you decide to not fly to France to be with him, and that he hoped your time with Liam would help sort everything out. It wasn't doing anything of the sorts. You didn't even know France was happening until after Liam had told him you decided you didn't want to go. This was of course a total lie, and so you sit in silence. After refusing to send you to France where you were meant to be because you need to 'talk it out', you had decided that talking was the last thing you wanted to do with him. So here you sit, glaring. Unable to comprehend a single thought that has been going through his mind these past twenty-four hours. How could he do this to you? Blatantly sabotage something that genuinely makes you happy. You just don't understand where he thinks he has the right. "It's for your own good. That's all I'm trying to get you to understand," he assures you, breaking the silence. You aren't going to respond. Silence is silence. You will glare at him. That will get your message across loud and clear. With your eyes you had sent him straight to hell and back several times. You can't believe he has gone to such drastic measures as this to keep you away from Mark. Liam is one of your best friends, well was one of your best friends. Best friends don't do this. This situation is reserved special for psychopaths and serial killers. And since you didn't dub Liam to be either of those you questioned his motives. He had told you it was simple. You deserved better than Mark. You deserved to have someone who would take better care of you than him. But he doesn't know anything about Mark, so how could he justify any of his comments? He couldn't, he had no idea what he was talking about. That had made you even more furious with him, and he just kept digging. He suggested that this would be the right time to break up with him, since of course, he already thinks that you blew him off for some unknown reason. The unknown reason being the devious and malicious mind of the one guy in the world you had known longer than any other. You weren't going to break up with Mark though. Why on earth would you? When was Liam going to realize that he can't dictate your life for you? He had been doing it for years, yet you are only just now realizing it. There was a reason he always worked so hard to maintain the reputation of 'bad boy best friend'. It was to keep the other guys in town away from you. No one was even going to get near you if they knew Liam was around. Mark had broken that mold though and you were so pleased that he did. He had shown you things Liam had never been able to, simply because he was around. Mark didn't live in London. Mark didn't have to travel with world nine months out of the year, every year. Mark didn't have a massive following of millions of teenage girls that were constantly pining over him. Mark was Mark and that is what you need. You don't need another Liam. You have one of those already. You need a Mark, why can't Liam see that? Tears begin to fall down your cheeks as your thoughts turn into emotions. Liam has no idea what to do. He gets up from his seat to walk towards you but you hold your hand up. He stops and you stand to your feet. You look him directly in the eyes, tears still falling from yours, so he can see what he has caused before walking off to the guest bedroom.
Niall: "Is everything alright?" No. Of course it wasn't alright. Nothing about this last week has been alright. But he hasn't been here so he wouldn't know. "Yeah, it's fine." "You know you can tell me anything, babe," he assures you. He is sensing you're off. "I know, and everything is fine." You had spent the last week in a depression you could only compare with the first time you sent him off for six months, yet you aren't going to say a word about it. What is wrong with you? He deserves to know. You are still in a relationship with him. "You do know I love you, right?" He questions, and you look up at the screen, caught off guard by what he is asking. "Yes, I know," you respond, nodding your head as you stir the coffee in front of you. "And you know that I'm not going anywhere, no matter how far away from you I have to be." "You are the one keeping the distance between us." You wanted to say it to him, but you didn't, you just nod your head. "This distance isn't going to break us. It's been in our lives for so long, and look how far we've come." You don't know what to say. He was trying very hard here to show you that what you have with him is still very much the real deal. Why are you acting so sad? Anyone else in your situation would be loving life. Yet you sit here in your living room quietly sulking while your boyfriend, who is thousands of miles away, tries to convince you not to worry about your relationship. "Can you tell me that you love me?" He asks of you and you smile. Only he would ask a question like this. "Niall Horan, I love you, much more than you will ever know." Just saying those words brings a warmth into your heart. You know you need him, but you don't need him always by your side. You had spent your entire relationship proving that to yourself. So why were you letting all of your hard work go neglected? You are stronger than this. He is sitting here in front of you, basically, trying his best to convince you that everything is going to be alright. Yet the wall you've been building this last week is far too tall. In fact, there shouldn't be a wall at all, this is Niall you are talking to. Niall, the guy you have spent the last five years with. Niall, the guy you have watched turn into a man. Niall, the man you love with every ounce of your being. Why are you trying to shut him out? You're causing everything you didn't want to happen with this move on your own. It's all on you. But you can change it. Right now, with this Skype call, you can turn everything around. "I know we are going to make it. I know that this isn't a permanent situation. And I also know that we have been doing this for years and that it is no different now. Niall, I love you so much." Your thoughts are all over the place but he knows exactly where you are coming from. He smiles, and you feel yours stretching across your face. You hadn't smiled in so long. "I'm so happy to hear you say those things. I know it's been a rough start, but I know how strong you are. You know how strong you are. We are living our dreams, and even though they may be separate that doesn't mean that we have to act any different or love any less." He is right, so right. You are so lucky to have him. Only he could bring you out of the darkness you had been forcing yourself to live in these last few days. Your relationship is the real deal, it always has been, and he just proved that, yet again, with just his words.
Louis: You could see it in his eyes still. Something was bothering him. You had stayed a lot longer than you planned in hopes the distant look in his eyes would fade. It never did. It was time to say something. "Louis, will you tell me something?" You ask as you approach him, no one else but the two of you on the bus. "Yeah, sure," he responds, gesturing for you to sit down on his lap. You take a seat, wrapping your arm around his neck before you continue. "I know you haven't been acting the way you have just because I haven't been around. I know we spent a lot of time together before you left to do all of this, but I also know that you came into this relationship acting the same way. So it can't possibly be just me." He's looking away from you now that he realizes the tone of this conversation you are about to have. "I'm not hurt by it, not at all. I just want to understand why." You are so close to his face, he can't ignore you. He sighs deeply before looking back over to you. "I'm not really good at telling people how I feel," he admits honestly. "I know, but it's just me. And you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to; I just want to be able to understand. Maybe if I did I could help." He chuckles slightly. "Babe, if I understood it all then there would be no need for you to help. The problem is I don't understand it." "What exactly don't you understand?" "Why I feel this way. We've been doing this for so long, and I don't get why I don't feel the same way as all the other guys. I know they aren't happy all of the time. I'm not that naïve, but they're always much happier than I am. I don't understand what is wrong with me." He is opening up to you, and it is breaking your heart. You have no experience with this whatsoever though, and that is making it difficult for you to form a solution in your mind. He continues though, without a request from you. "I know having you around is helping, that isn't just in my mind. I'm sorry if it is coming across like that but I know you being here is making a difference. I also know it isn't a permanent fix because you aren't always going to be able to be around. You've already stayed longer than you should have, and I'm sorry for that, too." "Why are you sorry for me staying longer?" You don't want him blaming himself in this. "Because if it wasn't for me acting like this you wouldn't still be down here trying to help me instead of being back at home working on your classes like you should be." "Louis, it is one hundred percent my decision to be here right now. Yes, I should have probably gone back to my classes, but I want to be here. You aren't keeping me here. This is my decision." He smiles slightly and nods. You need a bigger smile from him, but you aren't sure you are going to be getting it during this talk. "I've been trying to figure out how to accept and deal with this lifestyle ever since I got into it. I've been drawing a blank for over four years now. I don't know how to enjoy being the person I am in this band. And I'm sure by now you have realized the person I am in this band and the person I am at home are two completely different people." "And that's alright," you assure him but he shakes his head. "It isn't though." "Louis, babe, no one expects you to be on all of the time." "But see the problem is that I'm on when I'm at home, when I should be on when I'm on stage or around fans." He is struggling, and it's so prevalent.
Zayn: The new surroundings were becoming more familiar with every day that passed. You are getting used to the plain walls and simple furniture of this guest bedroom. You couldn't thank Gwen enough for letting you stay with her. You had no idea where you were going to go when you decided that you had to move out. She had insisted immediately, saying it was the least she could do. It was a quaint flat, right outside of London, but for now it was home. You get out of bed, cardboard boxes surrounding you. You had lived out of a suitcase before, but boxes are a different story. You walk across the hall to the bathroom; you need some one-on-one time with yourself. You stare at your reflection in the large wall mirror. It reminded you of the one back at the house, Zayn's house. You have to get away from that mindset. His house is not your house anymore. Nothing of his is yours anymore. As if it ever was. These last few days you have been reflecting on the relationship that once was. None of it seemed real. You had spent nearly two years with him, yet after putting some thought into it all, none of it actually proved to you that you were in a functional relationship. Yes, it had started off in bliss. But that was because you had gotten together while he was on tour. You traveled with him. Who doesn't love to travel? Seeing a new place every day would make the worst of situations seem like paradise. You had done that for nearly eight months. And of course once you returned back to London, he had asked you to move in. You had already been living with him on the road, so what was the difference in living together in a house? There wasn't much, but he was rarely there. You hadn't really noticed though; you had been too busy redecorating the house. A task he had given to you knowing it would keep you busy but also keep you around. Of course you hadn't caught onto that at the time. You were just enjoying the life he was providing for you. Once your redecorating job was over, it was time to get back on the road. You went with him, but only sometimes. He had suggested you stay back at the house for some of it, and since you felt he knew better about the situation than you did, you obliged. You didn't mind staying back, it made the relationship seem more authentic. Of course authenticity is a great goal for a relationship; it's just a shame yours never made it there. The more you thought about it, the more you realized you hadn't been in a relationship with Zayn, but only the idea of Zayn. You knew who he was before you agreed to date him. That was the person you fell in love with. The person everyone saw. The person in the pictures, the person on social media, the person on stage singing the high notes. That person, not the one he had showed you, not the real person. "(Y/N)? Everything alright?" Gwen was knocking at the door, clearly you had been in the bathroom too long. "Yeah, I'm good," you say as you open the door back up, wiping your hands on your shirt even though they weren't wet. She watches as you cross the hallway back into your bedroom. "You want to go out today?" She asks, standing in the doorway. She has been trying so hard ever since you arrived to get you out of the house and get your mind on other things. She isn't stupid; she knows every moment you isolate yourself is just another moment of you thinking about what could have been. But it was actually all a lie. You nod your head; it was time to get out. "You promise? You aren't going to bail on me later?" "I promise."