Jac froze and pretended to be asleep when in reality she was now wide awake. After about an hour Jac gently removed her hand from his and gently kissed his forehead
"Night night Fletch" she said softly
Now she was lying in bed - their bed, alone and unable to switch her mind off. She resorted to talking to herself
"Right Naylor let's see- are you freaking out?" She considered "well not exactly . It's not like he asked me to marry him as such but I THINK that's what he meant" she tossed and turned all night. She continued to 'weigh' things up
If he WAS meaning that how did she feel ?
He's still a little confused at times and was just dropping off to sleep AND he thought she was asleep
He probably won't even remember it in the morning
What if he'd been more seriously injured or worse? Maybe an accident like this made you want to make sure you hold on to what you have
If he had died- she felt sick at the thought who would look after his kids ? She knew on that point at least she was clear- it should be her
She thought back to her discussion with Sacha and how a small part of her had wished the 'wedding bells and patter of tiny feet' rumours had been true. She realised that now it was a much larger part of her wishing it was true
She was Jac Naylor- she didn't do marriage. She didn't do dependence on anyone or anything - except now she did. Adrian Fletcher had come into her life despite her defensive sarcasm and being a ' hard ass bitch' - she smiled remembering how he'd called her that. Despite her anger at herself and the world. Despite her pride and apparent emotionlessness. Despite all this he had come into her life and blown it apart. And she had never been happier
She remembered the conversation she'd overheard between Fletch and Evie at Christmas.
As the first light of day filtered into the room she finally dozed off to the thought " I would not laugh in his face" she smiled
