Don't watch me go. (Minsung)

//14//

it took a lot of courage to hug minho, but on his way back home jisung was glad he did it.

he couldn't help but smile all the way home.

he went to unlock his front door and while he did this he got a message on his phone.

minho: hey thank you for spending time with me and my friends~ I hope we can hang out more 😌

reading this sent another smile to appear on jisung's face, and he planned to reply once he got up to his room.

however the atmosphere completely changed the minute jisung walked into his house.

for a moment he forgot what it was like.

"where were you?" he heard an annoyed voice ask, to which he looked up and saw his mother planted on the couch with the same kind of bottles around her.

"..i was just out with friends." he said, still trying to show respect because honestly he was too afraid to not use honorifics.

"you seem happier these days." she said, her tired eyes gleaming over him.

"uh.. yeah i guess so.." he replied, looking off to the side.

"who are they?"

the question sent confusion throughout jisung as he began to feel unsettled as to why she wanted to know so much. "just a few boys."

"did you ever think about asking me if you could stay over someone's house?" her voice was fairly normal in tone but to jisung it felt a million times louder.

"sorry.." he stuttered a bit but in all honesty just wanted to be able to go back into his room.

his mother had anger issues ever since he could remember, but after his dad left with another woman her outbursts got worse and jisung didn't know how to handle them anymore.

"sorry?" she repeated. "you've been leaving this house and been leaving for multiple days at a time, care to explain?"

"it's not for multiple days. it's just because i've made friends-"

"do you think i care about who your friends are?" she yelled and that's when jisung knew she was having one of her outbursts. "you're leaving this house way too much."

"do you want me to stay locked in my room for the rest of my life? how it that fair?" he asked her, and she didn't like the question.

"don't start talking back to me." she warned, pissed.

"im not talking back, im just asking you a question-"

"i don't care! don't talk back to me!" she yelled, standing up from the couch. "i don't care about what you're doing outside of this house. everything you're doing is going to ruin your future- if you want to live alone and homeless then go ahead-"

"how am i ruining my future?-"

without word his mother threw one of her bottles in jisung's direction,

to which it shattered against the wall and all jisung could feel was pain on his left side.

he saw red and stumbled, taken aback and trying to process what had happened.

"don't interrupt me." she murmured and then turned around, turning and going into the kitchen leaving jisung in the hall.

he finally let out his shaking breaths that he didn't know he was even holding in- shaking and a numb feeling coming back inside him.

he was panicking.

he didn't know what had happened- only that his face was hurting but he didn't want to move his hands away.

he was having a panic attack.

through his small gasps of air, he looked around at the ground at the fractured pieces of glass, and saw a small splatter of blood.

it wasn't that much, but jisung couldn't stop looking at it, afraid.

he snapped himself out of his fearful trance and ran up the stairs to his room, slamming the door shut and locking it. his mother never broke a glass before.

with his free hand he took out his phone and saw the text that minho sent an hour ago.

he quickly pressed the contact however paused before he clicked call.

minho has helped him with so much already.. he didn't want to ask for help again.

his tears were coming out of his eyes quickly, but he put the phone down.

'don't call him..' he thought to himself. he didn't want minho to see him like this.. its mortifying..

jisung curled up and rested his forehead on his knees, hand still on his face pressing down hard.

pain followed and he planned to stay away cooped up in his room until.. well he didn't know until when.

he tried to calm down his crying- and that was when his phone started vibrating on the floor.

he hesitantly looked at and saw it was minho calling. as if he knew something was wrong.

jisung calmed down and ignored the numb feeling he felt, and hesitantly answered the phone.

"hey just wanted to see if you're feeling better." minho said through the speaker.

"u-uh yeah.. im feeling better." he tried to sound okay but he slipped and his shaky breaths could be heard from the other side.

immediately minho knew something was off. "..hey you alright?" he asked and only got a hum in reply.

jisung didn't want to talk.

"jisung are you.. crying?"

"..no." he was whispering and that was when he burst down into tears.

"hey hey what's wrong?" minho's voice went soft.

"n-nothing.. i have to go.."

"im not leaving you when you're like this.. talk to me." he spoke, concerned and worried.

"nothing.." he whimpered and wanted to hang up so badly.

"do you want to come over again? we can talk and if not then you can just sit here with me.. to get your mind off whatever is making you cry."

minho heard jisung's panic attack in his voice, and heard his panting and his shaky wavering voice.

"i.." that was the whole reason for the argument with his mother. because he was leaving the house.

but he blocked any consequences out of his head. "..are you sure?"

"of course im sure."

jisung had a few more tears fall from his eyes before he decided. "..okay."