Don't watch me go. (Minsung)

//96//

jisung couldn't help but be a little scared.

if there was one thing jisung had always expected from everyone- it was that they all really don't like him.

he was able to drown that out, but it was moments like these that would resurface them.

he played with his fingers, biting his bottom lip in anticipation as he waited for junseo to speak to him.

"what do you mean?" he asked, and junseo let out a sigh.

"jisung, you are one of the most amazing people i know." he started, making jisung look at him closely.

"throughout the years i noticed small things about you all the time.. your smile, your hair, the way you don't know what to do with your legs when you're excited so you kick them when you're sitting down- everything." junseo looked to the side.

"and your personality. i don't know how it's possible for someone to be so perfect." he fumbled a bit.

after a few seconds of silence, junseo spoke. "i've fallen in deeper."

jisung didn't know what to say, but his head slanted as he was confused.

not knowing what was going to be said, jisung hesitantly spoke, "fallen deeper?"

junseo then made dead eye contact with jisung. "i've fallen deeper in love with you."

jisung felt multiple things at once.

he stared back at junseo- mouth not working.

did he hear that right?

was he imagining things?

then the dread of having to say what had to be said kicked in.

"you.. love me?" jisung hesitated. "but junseo i'm dating minho i-"

"i know." this time junseo's voice sounded wobbly.

"have you read my letter?" junseo asked, and jisung jumped a little- because he felt like a mess- and nodded his head, quickly picking up the piece of paper on the table near them.

it was the letter.

junseo smiled sadly. "did you understand what i was saying when you read it?"

jisung looked back at the paper in his hands, then back at junseo. he shook his head. "i didn't really.."

"i was talking about how badly in love i've fallen.." however junseo's smile completely faded.

"i know you don't feel the same way." he murmured. "i'm too late. but i had to tell you how i felt."

jisung observed the older boy, who looked exhausted at this point. in fact he looked sick even.

currently worried about his health, jisung carefully spoke. "are you okay? you look pale.." jisung warily spoke.

junseo just rubbed his temple a bit. "yeah yeah i'm okay, i've been working late and hard these past couple days." the emotional toll of telling jisung everything also wasn't helping.

"but why did you decide to get a job now? you should wait for the weather to get better hyung." jisung worried.

and from this a slight smile appeared back on junseo's lips. "see? this is exactly what i'm talking about. you're so caring." he shook his head and rested his head in his palm.

"i started working so i could make some money for you."

and hearing this made jisung freeze in shock.

"i know i didn't have much before, and i love seeing you happy. i wanted to be able to buy you anything you wanted just to see you smile." junseo admitted.

before jisung could even open his mouth to respond, junseo continued what he was saying before.

"listen, i didn't want to tell you to make you feel bad. don't feel bad, you love minho. that's fine. but, i just wish i could've been there for you when i should have."

"honestly i envy minho. i'm jealous of him, of who he is in your life. how important he is.." he trailed off.

and finally his eyes began to glass over.

"it hurts."

jisung immediately panicked from seeing junseo tearing up, and he hurriedly tried to tell him it was okay.

"j-junseo i-"

"jisung i love you. and knowing that you're fine without me kills me- but it makes me happy at the same time." tears were flowing from his eyes now as he was pouring out his heart.

"i did very bad things that i regret and i'm really sorry for everything. but i just wanted to come here and tell you."

jisung had sadness laced on his face- and as he tried to speak again and rest his hand on junseo's shoulder he stood up.

"i'm sorry i came here like this. i hope you have a goodnight jisung."

"wait junseo-"  jisung followed him up, however it was too late and junseo just turned to leave.

he shut the door behind him.

jisung had no idea what had just happened, nor what to do.

he stared at the door, as the silence crept up from behind him.

"what do i do?" he wasn't sad nor angry, but he was just surprised.

he slumped back into his house and called minho on his phone.

he waited until he picked up.

"hey minho i know i just sent you off and you don't have to come back, but i need advice." the younger spoke as minho picked up the phone.

"sure with what?" minho curiously asked.

jisung knew that whatever he was going to say, minho wasn't going to like it.

he exhaled through his nose and prepared to say it. "junseo just came over."

and sure enough, minho was suddenly listening sharply. "he what?"

"yeah.. he just left a while ago... he came over here only to talk to me." he began, scratching his neck.

"what did he say?" jisung heard minho the silence after minho's voice, which meant that he was attentively listening.

"he well.. promise you won't get mad?" jisung asked, hearing minho sigh deeply to calm himself.

"promise."

jisung cringed as he was close to speak. "he confessed to me-"

"where is he?"

"minho nO." jisung immediately tried to calm. "but he really didn't do anything!.. he was just talking to me." he swore.

"he was telling me how much i meant to him and how much he really loves me- and what do i do?? i feel bad but because he's my friend."

"don't feel bad, you don't like him. so? thats not your fault. it's okay, this'll just blow over." minho explained. "i just never expected him to actually confess." he admitted, speaking to himself.

"wait what? you knew?!" jisung was shocked.

"uh yes it was very very obvious ji. why do you think i never liked him?" he chuckled a bit from hearing jisung in disbelief.

"am i really that dense?" jisung asked himself, earning a hum from the other end.

"yes. yes you are."