Don't watch me go. (Minsung)

//57//

bad habits.

bad habits could only be defeated with a purpose.

bad habits could only go away with hard work.

but some things didn't play out that way.

whether or not it was easy or hard.

this was something minho couldn't wiggle away from.

because he had a bad habit he was slipping back into.

and by bad- no, it didn't hurt anyone other than himself technically.

and only chan knew about it once before in high school.

~~~

the boys ended up leaving just before it became midnight.

turns out- seungmin and hyunjin fit in perfectly.

like they had always been there.

everyone watched a movie, munching on popcorn and spewing aimless jokes and stories.

it was enjoyable.

and minho would even see jisung smile and laugh a few times. he had been staring a lot these days.

but he didn't care.

everything about jisung he'd found perfect.

there was not one thing he didn't like- he loved everything about him.

he would make the world stop spinning for the boy with the strawberry dyed hair, and cute cheeks.

the boy who giggled and had the ability to make minho fall in love with him all over again.

the boy who had the ability to make minho fall silent. something that he wasn't used to doing.

the boy, who when he held minho's hand, it felt like he was holding hands with all his happiness formed as a person.

the boy who made minho want to wake up every morning.

the boy who didn't love him back.

minho sadly smiled as he waved goodbye to all his friends, who cheered out their goodbyes.

everything was fine again.

he had been lucky to have the friends he did.

he appreciated them.

appreciate might not even be the right term. because he adored them.

he shut the door and slumped back. for some reason he felt heavy.

the atmosphere felt lonely.

minho was used to being alone, so surely this time felt no different.

but it did.

he felt kind of empty? there weren't any words to explain it. it felt like he was just having one of those bad nights.

he sat alone in his room, looking up at his ceiling, painted gray.

thinking.

his mind was just going on, with no warning it buzzed all different directions.

what was it he wanted?

was it to actually date jisung?

was it to feel company?

was it to not feel lonely?

things would be different now, and minho wasn't so sure how he felt about different.

in fact, he hated change.