Don't watch me go. (Minsung)

//39//

they made it to minho's house where the older sat jisung down.

"so, what happened when I was gone?" minho had asked.

the only thing he had walked in on was when someone was about to hit jisung with the pole.

"uh.." jisung tried to think. he really didn't want to talk about it but he was tired of making himself worse by not speaking.

he knew it wouldn't be forced out of him but he knew it would break him more if he just lied.

"you left and jiho recognized me.." jisung spoke, with the tone of his voice decreasing and shrinking.

"jiho?" minho asked. he was unsure who that was.

"the tall one who was brunette. he was the one you didn't get into the fight with.. the one who spoke the most. yeah.. he used to tease me a lot when we would talk." jisung tried to explain.

"saying 'leader' is cliche but that's who he is. he talks the most and orders stuff around. mostly because that's who everyone's afraid of. he comes up with the ideas and stuff.. he was the meanest one to me." jisung recalled.

"he recognized me and then everyone else showed up. at first they didn't touch me but then jiho lifted me and threw me to the ground.. oh uh- then junseo was the one with black hair." he motioned to his head.

"he used to be nice to me and made them stop bothering me at one point. we used to be friends but then we stopped talking and honestly i forgot about him.. he never really bothered me until today.. im still a little uh- upset i guess." jisung spoke, quietly.

"but he was also the only one who hesitated." minho brought up. "when you told him not to hurt me, he froze and that's when i was able to get to you.. were you guys close?"

jisung thought about the question.

"eh not really. but he was sweet before he started hanging out with them i guess. we weren't best friends but i remember there was a point in time where he would pat my head and stuff." he explained.

"which is why he confuses me the most.." jisung said, and minho nodded, taking in the information. "why that hurt me the most.."

"ah i see. that is weird." minho sighed, but then shook his head. "anyway, where are you hurting?"

jisung remembered that minho was concerned. "oh, no where really. just my sides but that's not serious. i have a headache but i can take medicine when i get home, okay?" jisung really didn't want minho to take care of him again.

he didn't want to bother him anymore.

he could break down if he thought too hard about minho getting hurt because of him.

in fact, it was so hard to look him in the eyes.

and minho noticed, and it made him kind of hurt.

jisung was refusing to look at minho.

yet he didn't want to comment on it.

"ah.. i should go." jisung sounded tired and almost like his voice was flat. he didn't seem like the old jisung which minho was getting so used to seeing.

this jisung had such a dragging aura. the kind of which a dying animal would have. it felt so sad.

"yeah, my phone should be back tomorrow so ill text you when i get it back, okay?" minho stood up and extended his arms.

jisung melted into the hug and smiled slightly. "thank you hyung."

"don't thank me." he gave one more squeeze before jisung had said his parents would probably be waiting for him.

they waved goodbye to each other.

jisung began walking home. he looked back at minho's house, and a wave of sadness washed over him.

"..im so sorry minho." he whispered to himself.

~~~

the phrase 'im going to feel that in the morning' was suddenly apparent to minho the next day.

he woke up so sore. but nothing broken! so that was good.

he woke up in pain but shook it off.

he remembered everything that happened yesterday.

pictures of the night flashed into his mind. all the chaos and trouble that the boys had caused.

it got minho pissed.

and the fact that he had to let jisung go home made it even worse.

he couldn't stand seeing jisung get hurt like that. he was so worried. he never wanted to see jisung in pain ever again.

images of jisung on his side, crying out minho's name and telling him to leave, flashed in minho's mind.

he couldn't get jisung's voice out of his head. as if it were eating him up alive.

he couldn't stop thinking about his tears. and his blood. why was this getting to him so badly?

how he was shaking.

how scared he was.

minho wished he could've come sooner and just hug him. he never wanted to see jisung hurting.

stressed under his mind, he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. he'd been feeling different a lot recently especially since he met jisung.

part of him actually hated it.

throwing the white blankets off of him, minho stretched painfully. he checked his side, lifting up his shirt a bit.

he had a bruise there but nothing bad.

he got up and made himself something to eat. he hoped that jisung was okay. he hoped that he was eating well and not in pain.

the night before jisung had made it home and his mother was asleep.

his dad wasn't there anymore. he left to go back to his new wife.

it felt empty.

jisung was in a lot of pain, getting rocks thrown at him and being pushed around. getting hit with fists and poles.

but the thing that was hurting him the most- was knowing that minho got hurt because of him.

'my fault, my fault, my fault.' it was all he could think of.

minho had been so nice and kind with him. so patient and caring.

and what did he do in return?

get him hurt

he was terrible.

what he got minho into was horrible and all his fault.

he got someone so kind and sweet hurt- someone who did nothing wrong.

and that was why jisung felt it deep inside.

it was his fault that minho got into a fight.

without him that wouldn't have happened.

there would've been no fighting.

nothing would've went wrong.

jisung didn't cry during the actual fight. he was close to a few times-

but while he was alone in his room he burst into tears.

"im so awful.." he muttered. "im horrible.. he got hurt.." he held his stomach and curled up, tears flowing out of his eyes.

minho had gotten hurt all because of him

it was his fault.