ATEEZ 9th Member AU

Impossible

San opens up about his feelings

San sighed, tossing his phone on his bed and running his hands through his black hair. Wooyoung had taken Nari to a physical therapy appointment and the whole dorm had just found out that the two had lied. He called Wooyoung who admitted everything to him and explained that he was currently bored, walking around aimlessly through the city while Nari was on a date with Ravn. San didn't understand why the thought of her and him together made his blood boil and him see red. Well, he knew, but he had been doing great at hiding it from everyone, including himself. Everyone except Wooyoung who had teased him about going to the café to interrupt the couple.

He had tried calling her, knowing that Hongjoong and Seonghwa were going to tear the two to shreds once they arrived back home. Hongjoong was already sitting in the living room with a stone face. He groaned again, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow. He needed to get rid of his feelings and fast; there is no way that anything between them would work out. Besides, he was 90% positive Nari has feelings for Ravn anyways. He groaned again, throwing himself a pity party. "What's with you?" Yeosang asked, coming in and plopping down on the edge of his bed, throwing his leg over him. San shook him off and moved over, flipping on to his back.

"It's nothing." Yeosang scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not an idiot, San-ie. Is it about Nari being with Ravn right now?" Yeosang teased, a smirk playing across his lips. San sat up, hitting the top of his head on the bunk bed. He yelped in pain, clutching his head. His impending headache was now coming on full force. "Does everyone freaking know?!" He whined. He thought he hid it well. Yeosang chuckled, patting his knee. "You're way to obvious about it, dude. I don't know how Nari hasn't noticed it yet." San groaned, laying his head on Yeosang's stomach. "I thought I was hiding it well." He grumbled and Yeosang chuckled again.

"Please, San. Every time you look at her your eyes might as well turn into hearts. Anyone with a brain could see that you like her. Maybe that's why she doesn't notice. She doesn't have a brain." He shrugged and San lightly smacked his thigh. "Don't say that about her. She's your member." Yeosang smirked again, but didn't say anything. "I really like her, Yeosang." San said quietly after a few moments. Yeosang hummed, "I know." San felt hot tears well up in his eyes and he quickly sat up, clearing his throat and tilting his head back.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Yeosang asked, propping himself up on his elbows. San looked at him like he had 7 heads. "You're joking, right? You have to be joking." Yeosang shrugged, tilting his head. "What harm could it do?" San sighed, averting his gaze to anywhere but the boy on his bed. "Well, for one, she could not like me back. Then it would just be awkward. Two, we aren't allowed to date. Three, we're just starting our career, it's taking off, we can't be blindsided by a relationship. Four, if she does like me back and we date and then we break up, how can we continue as group? It would be so awkward. She'd never want to me and I wouldn't be able to see her. And god! Can you imagine the tabloids?! There would be-" his ranting was stopped by a narrow-eyed Yeosang clamping his hand over his mouth. "You talk too much."

San scoffed, removing his hand and biting his cheek. "I just, I really like her. But I don't want to ruin what we have as a group or the friendship we've built." Yeosang nodded. "I understand. But just so you know, there isn't anything in our contract about dating another member. I think you should tell her." San shook his head. "Not yet. Let me figure out my feelings and everything first." Yeosang rolled his eyes but he was going to support his friend. San rarely showed these types of feelings towards anyone, even as a trainee. Yeosang felt bad, knowing what one-sided love felt like, but also knowing where San was coming from.

"Wanna come fly the drone with me?" Yeosang asked after a few moments. "Just to keep you out of your head for a bit. We don't have to talk about it." He held his hands up in mock surrender and San smiled. "Yeah. Let me change." Yeosang got up, walking out of the room but he paused at the door, biting his lip and wondering if he should say something else. He shrugged again, not really caring if his words truly reached San or not and turned around. "Hey, Choi San?" He said and San hummed, pulling a hoodie over his head. "It's not impossible." San stared at him for a moment before wrapping his arm around his shoulders and pulling him out of the room.

"Let's go fly some metal."