ATEEZ 9th Member AU

Coming Home Pt. 3

Nari talks to San

Nari felt almost content. Her and Yeosang were on better terms and he really was trying to show her that he was willing to work harder to have a stronger friendship. He started doing little mundane things with her. If she needed to go down to the store he'd go with her, they'd walk to the company together. He'd help her clean and watch her favorite shows with her that he used to complain about.

She was happy things were getting back on track but there was still one person she had yet to talk to. San. He had gone home to visit family before things for their comeback got into swing but he was supposed to be coming home today. She had no idea what she wanted to say or even if he would talk to her yet. She didn't know if he was mad or upset still.

Her leg was bouncing up and down as she sat in the kitchen. Seonghwa looked at her, sighing before sitting down and placing his hand on her knee to make her stop. "You're making me anxious just looking at you." She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm just nervous." He hummed. "He loves you, Nar." She didn't say anything because that was the one thing that kept running through her mind. Did her truly love her?

"Do you know what you want to say?" He asked and she nodded, biting her bottom lip. Seonghwa frowned. "Why don't you tell me? At least you told someone if he decides not to talk to you." She looked at him for a moment before nodding. "Can I ask you a question first?" He nodded, offering her a warm, gently smile. "Always."

"What do you think we should do? Because I honestly don't know." She wrapped her arms around her torso, bringing her knees up to her chest. He thought for a moment before he answered her, brown hair falling over his face. "It's not my place to say, baby. That's up to you two." She rolled her eyes. "I know that, oppa. But I just—I need an outside perspective. Or any perspective at all."

He sighed, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms. "I think that you two need to talk and really talk. You need to let him know what you're expecting and you need to let him know how much this really hurt you. I know that's hard for you because you don't want to hurt him. But he did hurt you, Nar. And you need to set clear boundaries. Whether or not you two stay together, that's completely up to you two."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her legs. "I don't know if I can take one more blow. No matter how much it might be needed." She said quietly and Seonghwa leaned forward, his heart breaking for the girl. "I know, baby. But you need to talk to him and you need to make the decision that's best for you right now." She squeezed his hand and tensed as she heard the front door open and slam closed.

She knew it was him. She could sense his aura from a mile away. Stupid love. Seonghwa offered her an encouraging nod and San's frame became visible in the archway to the kitchen. "Hyung I'm—oh. I—I didn't know you were home." He said quietly, looking at Nari quickly then back to the floor. She didn't say anything, just nodding her head.

Seonghwa ushered San over to the table and had him sit across from her. "You two really need to talk and San?" San looked up at him and Seonghwa squeezed his shoulder slightly. "You need to listen." Seonghwa left the kitchen and Nari bit her tongue. She squeezed her hands together, too afraid to make eye contact with the boy sitting across from her.

"You look—good." San breathed and she smiled slightly, daring to meet his gaze. Worry was evident in his eyes and she felt a little guilty. But she tried to remind herself this is what she needed and this was for her. And San. No matter the outcome, she hoped they could reach it together. "Thanks. You've looked—better." She teased lightly.

But she wasn't wrong. His hair was disheveled and out of place. There were bags under his eyes and he looked like he had lost some weight. His cheekbones were extremely visible and his eyes that usually had the brightest light in them were dull and tired. "Yeah, I guess I have been." He said quietly. "San I wanted to—"

"Can I go first?" He cut her off. She took in a breath but nodded, stiffly.

"I know I've been apologizing a lot lately. For stupid things that I do. But you were gone and I realized just how stupid I was. When I came home I—I just—I could feel you weren't here. And when I walked in your room and your stuff was gone, I panicked. I freaked out." He had since dropped his bag on the floor. Hands gripping the end of the table until his knuckles turned white.

She wanted nothing more than to reach over and place hers on top of his but she refrained from doing so. She needed to be strong.

"I—it was hard to function. With you gone. I felt empty. Inside. But I also felt extreme guilt because I knew I messed up. Or I know that I messed up. I want to work harder, baby. I do. I really, really do." His brown orbs looked up to meet hers but she didn't say anything, waiting for him to finish.

"I—I understand if you don't want to be together. I've messed up to many times to count. I've treated you like absolute trash and you don't deserve that. I don't deserve you, but—god—I hope you still want me. I hope you still love me. I want to work on us. Be a better person and someone you deserve. I just hope to anything out there that you're willing to let me do that."

He looked at her and she didn't say anything, just staring at him. How was she supposed to tell him she wanted to end this now?