NUT DA NUTTAH - Boreo (OLD)

Chapter 75- chocolate eyes

((This is a collab between me and CEO_of_Boreo !!!! If you haven't followed them yet. Do it or I'll go brr brr with my chainsaw,))

I woke up to find that Boris was gone and this time, he hadn't left a note.I was confused, so I texted him and he didn't answer. He didn't have work today so I was worried. He didn't usually leave the house without me. I tiredly reached over to my phone, maybe he was out getting food. He always leaves a note, even if it's by Text
I rubbed my eyes and slipped my glasses onto my face, no message. My adrenaline started to kick in. Where could've he gone? I texted him asking where he was. No answer, so I got up and walked to the kitchen. No note on the refrigerator either. I began to cry. I knew I was over sensitive but I just felt lost without him. I was sobbing. I sat down by the door. I must have been there for about 3 hours. I felt terrible, the sizers and knives on the counter never looked more shiny and wanting.
The ring around my finger felt tight and made me want to scream and cry even more "I WISH I WAS THE ONE WHO DIED!" I screamed, pounding my fist on the hard kitchen tile. Just wanting to die. Too never exist. I ran to the bedroom and slammed the door. I locked it. I didn't care anymore. I got into bed and cried until I couldn't breathe. I took my sleeping pills (Not too many) to help me sleep the pain away. I woke up around 4 hours later to my phone vibrating. It was Boris. He said that he was in the kitchen. And that he couldn't get in the room because it was locked. My face was still red and blotchy. I washed it and unlocked the door. "Where have you been?" I signed to him. "Ignore that!" He said, looking at my face in pure shock. "Are you okay Potter?" He signed, trying to grab my hands I pulled back. Not letting him touch me. "No! Don't touch me Boris!" I screamed at him. He stood there. Shaking a bit at my raised voice. He purses his lips. Not sure what to do, he leaned against the wall and slid down it until he was sitting on the floor. "You left me... No note. No text. All alone." I said with a blank expression on my face. "I had to go somewhere." He signed, looking guilty. "Where?" I asked confused. "Just somewhere! Leave it Potter." He signed with an annoyed look on his face. I was stressed out.
I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks in a mix of stress, anger, and depression.
"Theo, did you take your medicine?" He asked, I snapped.
"BORIS! DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT! ANSWER MY QUESTION!"
He tried to reach for me again. I pulled away. "Boris, I thought you wanted to listen to me... you were supposed to tell me where you were. Please Boris, your my everything! Just tell me!" I said. Breaking out into a sob and falling onto my knees I felt empty. The love of my life, lying to me about his whereabouts. I thought I could trust him. I knew what I needed to do. I was going to read his messages while he slept. ((CEO_of_boreo:Like a crazy jealous wife 😂)).
"Theo I dont have to tell you where I go okay?" He signed. "Whatever, I'm going to bed". I walked into the room and got into bed. I pretended to take my sleeping pills so I could stay awake. I laid down, facing away from Boris. I felt defeated. I felt him climb in bed next too me. But he faced the other way, not telling me goodnight, giving that nice kiss on the forehead, or the "goodnight baby" he'd always would say. I missed the touch and taste of his lips already. I was already used to the feeling of dried tears on my face.
I buried my face in my hands. I looked over at his passed out body. Lightly lit up by the faint light of the tv, that was playing some sort of romantic black and white old movie, which made me even more depressed. It was 3am when I realised that Boris was in a deep sleep. It looked as though he was snoring quite loudly, but I wouldn't know, I'm deaf. I reached over to his phone and put in his passcode. His screen lit up. Messages from a girl. From... KOTKU???? I read the messages. He had met up with her today. Who knows what they did? I felt broken. Guilt and depression lingered over me like a tall figure.
All our dates and happy moments we spent together flashed before my eyes.
I put my hands in my hair. It was getting harder to breathe. I just wanted to scream. I bit my lip. Trying to keep the scream from leaving my mouth.
I had had panic attacks before, but they were calmed by Boris's touch. Which I didn't have. The one thing that I lived for was not with me right now. I got up to go to the bathroom. I stayed there for a while. Just looking in the mirror. I knew Boris would have heard me get up, and usually he followed me wherever I went. But now it felt like he didn't care. I soundproofed the bathroom as well as I could. I let out a quiet sob. I put my hands over my face. I grabbed any pills I could find in the bathroom cabinet and took a few. I didn't bother checking the labels. I just wanted to be numb. I sobbed while sat on the bathroom floor. I stayed there and screamed until I couldn't any more. I felt sick. I was then sick in the toilet and I collapsed on the floor. Everything went dark. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital. I opened my eyes. Looking around, nurses and doctors surrounded the bed I was in, which made me nervous.
I scanned the room left to right and up and down. I didn't see Boris. What happened? I didn't know. I felt sick. There were needles in my arms. Everywhere. Leading to big machines. I felt weird. I wanted Boris. Where was Boris? I started having a panic attack. I couldn't breathe. I was sobbing. I needed Boris. And then it went black again.Turns out they injected me when I started freaking out, too keep me calm and from ripping out those machine needles and all that. Which I totally wanted to do.
I started to regain consciousness. I could see a blurry silhouette which I squinted to get my focus on... Boris?
All I could think about. Boris, Boris, Boris. There is no way I could hate him which made me utterly terrified to talk to him again. He was wearing that red sweater that he wore when we first kissed. I felt the tears burn down my face. "I - I - I'm so sorry Boris" I said with my raspy voice.
He sat next to me without a word. He held out his hand. I hesitated before I put my hand on top of his. He sighed while he used his other hand to wipe the tear streak that was on my face. Still no words being exchanged between both of us
I was too scared to use my voice this time. "I love you..." I signed slowly. He looked at me with sad eyes. "I love you too..." he signed with a small smile. I was broken. I didn't want to bring up Kotku right now. I just wanted to be with Boris. I was worried that the doctors would ask questions, but they didn't. They sent me home after. I walked through the front door. I crept into the bedroom and slipped into bed. I felt horrible. Guilty. Unfair. Cheated. I just wanted to sleep. Boris came in and laid next to me. This time, facing my back. He drew circles with his fingers on my back, while he held me. He kissed my forehead softly, and I fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare about my mom. I noticed that Boris had wrapped his body around mine. I was confused. But I was distracted when Boris started to stir and pull me closer to his body. If that was even possible. I could feel his breath easy on the back of my neck. His arms snaked around my body, his legs wrapped around my waist too. I sighed and turned around to face him. Making both our noses touch He was deep in sleep.
It wasn't too long before I fell asleep along side of him.
I awoke, and saw that Boris was watching me closely, his eyes snapped away from my face. I thought it was cute, that he wanted to watch me sleep. I wasn't forgetting the Kotku situation though. He motioned me towards the living room. He began to talk to me about it.
We both sat down on our couch, he took my hands in his. "Look Potter, I'm sorry I should've left a note or something I'm... so... so sorry." He signed. "Why... why were you at kotkus? I didn't even know Kotku was around?" I asked him. Looking down, avoiding eye contact. He look straight at me, with a confused look on his face. "How did you know about Kotku?" He snapped (while signing 😂). "Oh." I looked away. "Why do you think I did what I did?" I said slowly, with a sad look on my face. "I thought you were being suspicious so I looked in your phone. Im sorry." I said sadly, my eyes brimming with tears. "I know you won't be able to trust me now, and I'm sorry for betraying you, but what were you doing with her?" I asked while crying. He sighed. "Do you think I'm cheating on you?" He asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know." I replied. He lifted my hand up. "What's this?" He asked me with a smile. Pointing to the ring on my finger. I smiled. "I didn't take our ring off when I went to kotkus. She would've noticed it." He said, before putting his hand on my cheek. "Then why did you go to her?" I said while holding his hand. "I went to check up on her, she texted me saying she was around. So I went to see if she was doing okay after all these years. She's doing okay. She has a kid, no sign of a husband or boyfriend though." He told me "Im sorry Boris." I said. "Don't be silly you donut! I know that you're a little unsteady, after your dad's lies in the past. Listen, I love you with all my soul, I promised you that on our wedding day, didn't I?" He said, which made me sink into his arms. I felt stupid. I almost died, because I overreacted. And now I look like an unsteady idiot in front of my husband.
"Listen theo," He signed as we pulled away from the hug. "We're both a little unstable and we both have bad pasts. But please. Don't hurt yourself because of me puppy." I nodded. Feeling totally guilty. "God I missed you." I said, pulling his body into another tight hug.
I could tell he was smiling. He kissed my head before starting to smother me in kisses, which made me laugh.
This is Theo Decker signing off,