NUT DA NUTTAH - Boreo (OLD)

chapter 100- Magma and silk covered spiderwebs

((I'm thinking of giving them a boy. Crocs is telling me not to. But whatever. I'm thinking of doing a crossover. (They adopt one of the losers.) I'm thinking Eddie? Eddie meets Richie and falls in love later in the book. What is your opinion?))

((Talk about death of a child warning.))

We didnt have the mental power to go into the hotel, so we slept in the car. Sorta... we just stayed up until we passed out. We were to filled with anxiety and sadness to sleep. It made me feel weird that we were both totally deppresed and tired and not next to eachother comforting and crying in eachothers arms. I felt sick to my stomach from crying. The feeling of hot tears constantly rolling down my face was a feeling i had gotten used to.
Boris eventully scooted over to me. Laying his whole body onto mine as he started to eventully get tired. I whiped away the tears on his face. He looked exhausted and scared, and it hurt to look at him. Boris crying was one of my pet peeves, and me not being there for him eats me up on the inside. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him as close as possible. Squeezing his slim body in a tight hug. He was tired, but immediately hugged back. "I'm sorry Boris." I said, I felt as if her death was my fault. "Potter! It's not your fault. You couldn't control it. Don't be so hard on yourself baby." Boris almost immediately responded. Trying to keep his eyes open. "Cmon. Lay down. Let's get a good nights rest." He added, pulling me down next to him. We pushed the seat down into the trunk so we we had enough room. "But I can't stop thinking about it!" I said uncomfortably. Starting to tear up again. "Love, death is apart of life. It was unexpected and there was nothing we could do to stop it. We will do all the arrangements in the morning. Find some new therapists. Whatever we need to do. Just get a good nights rest hon. Okay?" He said soothingly, putting his hand on my cheek. I nodded and sniffled. He smiled softly and pulled me into his chest. I snuggled up and my mind focused on sleep. I was out within a few.
((Time skip~))
I woke curled up. Boris sat in the front seat totally focused on my computer, he turned and glanced over. "Hey sweetie." He said as I opened my eyes and focused on him. I pulled my body up to sit, "Cmon." He said patting the passenger seat. I sat up and stretched. Revealing most of my stomach due to the shortness of the shirt. I gained the strength and crawled into the front seat. He smiled when I did so. He kept his eye on me. "Good morning Theo." He said as we both leaned in slowly and pecked each others lips.
He sighed when he looked at the computer. "Are you ready to talk about it?" He asked. Putting his legs up onto the front-board. He put the computer in my lap. It showed a page full of information. If we wanted to cremate or bury. Which made me sick to think about. I thought for a second. "Bury." I answered to him. He agreed and entered it into the computer.
We entered in all the information. Where the memorial was going to be, where are we going to bury. It was a mess mentally. But I was able to get through it. Even if I shedded a few tears, Boris was there to comfort me. "You want to take a break or keep going?" He questioned. I immediately responded "keep going, let's get it over with." I responded with a serious tone. He kept going. Bringing up therapy sessions that specialize in death. I hesitated but agreed to take them. We signed up for an appointment later.
Boris started up the car, he started to chat about random things that came to his mind. Mainly compliments about me that I didn't know how to react to because they were way to sweet.
I distracted myself from the noisy thoughts in my head and took my medicine. Gagging when the powder accidentally came out because I bit down on it to hard. We argued a bit over stupid topics then we decided to just drive around. We parked in the Walmart parking lot to do our therapy session. Our therapist asked a lot about our love life, how we grew up, parenting. Which we tried our best to answer. I honestly wanted another child. Maybe a son. I always have this motherly instinct the nurture a child or someone I care about deeply. Though we didn't have good homes, so we have only basic knowledge on how to raise a kid. So I'd rather get an older one rather than a younger one like a baby. That'll never happen. I don't even know how to hold a child that young properly. Nor do I have the skills to raise, teach, and care for it for however many years they'll live in our home. I don't think we could handle another death if this kid dies. Death is expensive and painful. There's nothing really good about it. It makes you think about your own death which is something I'd rather not think of at times. But. There was a good chance this child won't die if he or she's healthy. Which will probably be the case. Most of my side of the family is dead, or has been since I was born. So i didn't have to deal with to many griefs. Though the bombing was hard to get over. Since it took my mother, the closest person to me at the time. My father had left mysteriously at the time. For no reason. So I don't consider him close. At all. Boris And I we're married. So that's considered family. He's the closest to me, and he's always been the one I've grown to keeping safe. My motherly instincts will kick in a lot when I'm with him. That's why I get so pissed sometimes.
The day was filled with lots of love, support, and crying. To the point where I thought my eyes were totally dry of tears. Certain parts of the day made me want to throw up and die. But I got through them with help. I'm glad I agreed to therapy. I feel as if it'll help a lot, and by the end of it. I feel way better. I don't feel as crappy and a good nap always comes afterwards. It's become a ritual since mental health always wares me out like a pencil. I always feel as if I ran 10 miles. A good shower afterwards always makes me ready to sleep.
I've never gotten tired of Boris's snuggles. I've never wanted to be with another person. I loved being close to him at night. Never getting tired of his body. Or the way it wraps around mine whenever we are tired, lonely or sad. It makes you feel good after a long argument or sob to just lay in his arms and feel loved again. To know that I'm wanted on earth is the feeling I cherish most. I do and will never stop loving him. Ever.

This is Theo Decker, signing off