The Sweet Husband

Talks with my Mama

When I was 17 my mama sat me down and had a little talk with me about men. At the time, I thought it was amusing, because in my mind, mama didn't know crap about men because, after all, she married daddy.

Ola McLeroy Wooten, born in 1908, and married to the same man since she was 16 years old, when I was 17 she would have been 58, and her ideas about what even she should have done about finding the best husband.

1. Don't worry about the sex part, if you love him, really love him, and if he loves you, really loves you, you both will teach each other what you need to know about making that part good.

2. Choose a man that, if you are in a room full of people, he will hear it if someone says something that will hurt your feelings or upset you and he won't say anything, but he will come over to where you are and put his arm around you, and say something to make you smile, so that you will know he cares and he's telling you it's ok.

3. Choose a man that has his own friends and gets out and does things, all the time letting you know that you are being respected, you don't want him hanging around the house all the time, you need a break from cooking dinners, you need to be able to just lay down and read a book.

4. You do not need an insanely jealous man, but you need a man that realizes you are a gift and that other men want to open that gift. There's a fine line between being a lunatic and just realizing that other men are interested so you need to be careful with that one.

5. Do all of your running around and being wild before you have a husband, you could get killed if you do it in reverse order.

6. Do not ever do or say anything that would make your husband feel disrespected. And expect the same from him. And don't fool yourself, if he speaks to you or about you disrespectfully before you are married that won't change because of a wedding ring.

7. Let the one that is the best with money pay the bills, but make sure that the other one knows what they are, and how much is being spent.

8. When you get mad at him, before you end up in prison, remember all the things that made you love him to begin with, if those same things are getting on your nerves now, that's not his fault, that's yours. If he's doing something new and that gets on  your nerves, talk to him, maybe you can work it out.

9. Laugh with him, if you can't make each other laugh you have the wrong man.

10. Try not to be too much of a Wooten, most men can't deal with that.