The Sweet Husband

The Dog named SOB

We stopped being wanna be's. Seriously, we went from the home of the sometimes insane, to full fledged, check to see if the asylum will lease rooms by the month, tee total crazy.
First, I haven't felt well since Sunday, and have whined about it until I am sure the almost always sweet husband has been sitting in his recliner coming up with ways to legally get away with murder.
Second, we have this adorable little puppy, Hunter, and the sweet husband has had to take care of him, because after all, I am near death, according to me.
Yesterday I felt a lot better, so Hunter spent most of the day in my lap, playing.
About 8 last night, the puppy discovered the tag on my neck pillow, he was having a very good time climbing up on my chest, latching on to the tag then just hanging there by his teeth.
I have been trying to teach the puppy that his name is Hunter, however, the two days Randy took care of him, every time the puppy did something Randy would say Son of a B, without just the B, then this morning he spills his coffee, yells Son of a B, an the puppy comes running. I am already ticked off, this sweet little puppy thinks his name is SOB and the SH thinks it's funny, at least he did until I asked him what was gonna happen when I said it, were they both going to think I was talking to them?
Then I am sitting in my recliner bitching about the puppy being confused about his name, and the puppy is grabbing the tag on my neck pillow and having a really good time, and then he grabbed the front of my shirt, right beside the tag and latched on to a very sensitive area. I screamed and jumped up the puppy is still hanging on, Randy reaches out to get him before he falls and I grab him by the arm and scream if you pull him and any part of my boob falls off you are a dead man.
I almost had to take HIM to the hospital, he laughed until he was out of breath, then just kept laughing.
The SH is saying he needs to take me to the ER, no, don't think so Bubba  first it hurts,but I am not badly injured, second I work there, no way are you taking me to the ER with a dog bite on my boob. He gently tells me that's ok baby, I will tell them you were nursing the puppy and it bit you.
We have laughed all morning.