The Sweet Husband

Its Complicated

When my sweet husband and I got married, we didn't know each other. We had dated for two weeks, then moved in together, then three weeks after that we married.

He was pretty easy to figure out, he is not a complicated man, but he can be a difficult one. I was not difficult at all, however, I was very complicated.This is not always a good combination, but, for us, it has seemed to work well. I have eased his difficulties a lot and he has definitely made me a lot less complicated.

We spent a lot of the first month or so, just talking about ourselves, what we liked and disliked, that is, until I scared him, then he wasn't so keen about talking.

I explained to him that things are not always like they seem when you are dealing with most Wootens, and with me, in particular, this was especially true.

He was quiet for awhile, then he said, what the hell does that mean?

Well, for example, you get pretty excited about things, and bitch about almost everything a lot. I am really quiet, but that doesn't mean I agree with you, or that I even think you are in the ball park of what I think is right, it just means that my undeveloped give a damn syndrome is kicking in.

He was quiet for a little longer this time, then he said, look, I bitch, that is what I do. I am not mad at you, or bitching at you, I just unload with you because you listen, or what the hell does that syndrome thing make you do? Are you listening, or does that crap make you doze off or something. And I think you are making that up, I never heard of it.

I told him, look, it took me a very long time before I finally understood that if I don't give a damn about something one way or the other, I am not going to invite all that negativity that griping and complaining about it brings to me. Most things that are none of a persons business, they need to put on the I don't give a damn list and forget about it. I do not allow myself to have an opinion on how my family lives their lives, or my neighbors or my co-workers live their lives be,cause it is none of my business. No matter what the situation is, if whatever it is, is not so important that I would need to make a decision, or consult with you or anyone else I trusted to help me decide what I should do, then why should I get all upset and raise hell about it?  I have an undeveloped give a damn syndrome. I like that, I think it suits me.

He said, well what does that have to do with things not always being what they seem.

Well, I may not say anything, but if you are going to continue reliving every single thing that went wrong during your day, no matter how petty it is, I may be sitting here daydreaming about stapling your lips together.

He starts laughing and said damn, girl, you would have to climb a ladder, I think I can protect myself ok.

Oh yes, the other thing is, the really important one, is if you keep fussing and I start to cry, it would be best to just leave me alone. I am  most likely trying to convince myself that whatever it is that you did is really not important enough for me to spend the rest of my life in prison for killing you.

UHHHHH, well if you start to cry, can I just tell you I'm sorry and give you a hug? Will that keep you from killing me in my sleep.

Maybe, but you might wait until I have stopped crying, that usually means I have worked it out in my head.

He then informed me that we should not do so much talking, that there were other things we could do to learn more about each other and he felt like they were a lot less hazardous to his health.