The Sweet Husband

The SH can't hear

Says the husband,who,just for your info has made a hellacious mess in the living room, Quit nagging me, I will clean it up when I get finished.

Me: I haven't said anything.

Husband: You are looking at me.

Me: Looking at you is nagging?

Husband: Yep, it is when you do it.

Me: Under my breath, yeah, I'm gonna look at you when I knock you out.

Husband, who apparently lies about being hard of hearing: You knock me out, you have to clean it up yourself.