The Sweet Husband

Mama's Paying me back

I do really well in the daytime, but when it starts getting late, and I haven't found her yet, I start getting tense.
We have been through this several times, and it's always the same way. I have no doubt that we will find her, I just want it to happen in my time, like NOW.

Evenings are when my husband kicks into gear, remembering every crazy, funny thing that has ever happened and makes me laugh until I am so weak, I don't have the strength to think.

Tonights saga down memory lane is about Sting, the rock musician and the father of Sheryls child that she never had.

First, Sheryl had only been back a month or so, and this was the first time she had left, we weren't even really sure what was wrong with her, we just knew something was and it was definitely something mental.

I had been finding letters, written on scrap pieces of paper, no envelopes, no stamps, but put in the mailbox for the postman to pick up. I was just removing them, but all of them started out Dear Gordon sumner, now I don't listen to rock music, I had no clue who this Gordon Sumner was, and at first didn't realize where the letters were coming from. There was a lot of talk about a child that he had taken to take care of, and was Trudy being good to the child,etc.

I google everything, so I googled this name and found out it was the rock musician Sting, and his wife's name is Trudy, and I knew that Sheryl played a tape of his all the time, so I asked her about the letters, and she told me the postman told her she didn't need stamps and envelopes since she was sending them to Sting.

So every day before the mail ran, I went to the mailbox and removed all the notes, so that the postman didn't think the whole damn family was off their rocker, yeah, I know, we are, but I still don't want it advertised.

Then my husband goes to get a hair cut and when he comes back in he pulls me aside and says there are some kind of crop circles drawn in the front yard.

Crop circles?? I go in and ask Sheryl, did you put some kind of circles in the yard? She replies, well yes, with the charcoal.

Ok, circles in the yard, drawn in charcoal. I get that.

I go back and tell him, Sheryl drew them with charcoal. He says Why did she draw circles in the yard with charcoal?

I didn't ask her why, you wanted to know who drew them, I found out for you, Sheryl drew them.

Go ask her why. I don't want to. I don't want to know why, I don't even care why. My mama is coming out of the grave to pay me back for every wrong thing I ever did to her. She told me that one day I would have a kid that would drive me crazy, just like she had me.

My sweet husband looks at me with this horrified look on his face, and says, Look, I love you, I have loved you since the day I looked up on those stairs and saw your little skinny ass and bird legs standing there. I have put up with you being just a little wacko, and with your crazy daughter doing a whole lot of crazy stuff and I never stopped loving you, but I draw the line at mama's coming out of graves around here. You tell her to go back and we will deal with Sheryl, whatever we need to do, but if I start seeing your mama creeping around, we are gonna burn this bitch down and leave.

After I got my breath back from laughing, I knew I would be able to make it through whatever happened, because he keeps me grounded, even when I want to body slam his big rear end.

Oh, and he did ask Sheryl why she drew the circles, and it was so Sting would know where to land the helicopter when he came to pick her up.