The Sweet Husband

You can't refuse a loan to your sister

Looking at that picture of me and my siblings, even though it was a horribly sad occasion, the loss of the first of the grown up Wooten kids, it also turned out to be hysterically funny. And, as you can see, for the Wootens, since the only time all of us were together and dressed up was for funerals, that also became the photo opp.

My sweet husband is always thought to be way more outgoing than he actually is. That's just the impression he gives, but really, for the most part he is just watching and taking mental notes to talk to me about at a later time.

My oldest sister, Evelyn, on the other hand, could say some pretty shocking and outrageous things for a woman her age. My brother died in 1997, and she was born in 1925, so she would have been 72.

She had not been around my husband more than just a very few times, although we had been married 21 years. The SH had gone outside to sit on the porch and smoke a cigarette, and she followed him out there.  First, she told him that she had never seen me seem so calm and happy. Then she told him that she had always liked big, tall men.  He's still smoking his cigarette, still rocking in the chair, and she tells him that it's been a long time since she's been around a good looking man, and she's glad she met him.

He excused himself and came inside and leaned down and whispered in my ear, your sister is scaring the hell out of me, don't let her get me by myself anymore.

First, I asked him which sister, and he said Evelyn. I laughed and told him he was safe, she was just being what she thought was funny, she was really a very nice, straight laced lady and I did believe his virtue was not at risk.

Then Evelyn comes inside, comes over and joins the both of us, LaJeanne, the next older sister and her husband Johnny, who was also the SH's hunting buddy, come over and join the three of us, and Evelyn tells Johnny and LaJeanne that she's glad Tommie Lee has such a good looking husband, and she had just come over there to tell me that if I got tired of him, to send him her way. Then she reached over and slapped him on the behind and walked off to talk to someone else.

I had never seen that look of shock on his face before, so of course, I was the totally sympathetic wife, and as she left our group, I said, I'm not tired of him, but you are my sister, I can't refuse a loan to my sister. You could have heard Johnny laughing a block away, and Evelyn, yells back, you are a good sister, and she's laughing her rear off. I am giggling like a maniac, LaJeanne is shaking her head and laughing, and the sweet husband says, as he walks out the front door, ya'll are all f'ing crazy, every one of you, now I know why you are nuts, the whole damn family is crazy.