The Sweet Husband

The SH and the Ab Belt

when you have been married 37 years, even though you are still crazy in love with your husband, there are some days, that you have to remind yourself of the consequences that just shooting his behind would have for you.
Today is the day I go over the list of things that would be really uncomfortable about going to prison at my age.

It's still a tossup but so far I am talking myself out of it.

The sweet husband uses one of those Slendertone Ab Belts,and naturally it has to be set on the maximum setting,so half the time when he uses it, he appears to be having convulsions.

Oh, and we can't just use it one time daily, we MUST use it six times a day.

His pads were getting worn out and I have ordered new ones but they aren't coming fast enough with 2 day shipping, mind you. So I look over and he is putting hand sanitizer on the pads.

I remind him that there is alcohol in that, and I don't think he is supposed to do that anyway, and if he has to pee, lightening is going to arc into the commode and blow it up and then I am kicking his butt.

He goes through the first 3 of the sessions, and it is very very much stronger than usual then he gets up and instead of heading for the bathroom, he heads toward the front door.

I ask him, where are you going? He says, to pee in the front yard.

You are going to do what, where? Pee in the front yard.

No you aren't. Yes, I am, if lightening is coming out I want the neighbors to see it.

OMG. get your behind into the bathroom you are NOT peeing in the yard you will scare the dogs next door.

He walks down the hall muttering under his breath, and was terribly disappointed there was no lightening involved at all.