The Sweet Husband

The Imperfect Mama

I feel like I spent most of my younger life thinking there was just something wrong with me, that I didn't quite measure up. I couldn't change the thought no matter how hard I tried.

When I married the first time and had two beautiful healthy children, I thought he was perfect, they were perfect, my life was perfect, but so sad for them because I wasn't, and they deserved someone as perfect as they were.

My second husband helped a lot, loving me for my imperfect self, and convincing me, finally, that perfect isn't perfect at all and then, Sheryl, my middle child, developed paranoid schizophrenia.

Her dad, that man I thought was perfect, truly believes that she is possessed by demons , and she has not seen him or heard a word from him in years, even though he drives through town less than 10 blocks from here several times a year going to see her sister. My oldest child, I have no clue what she thinks, but Sheryl also has not seen or heard from her in several years.

The one who goes to get her when she has wandered off someplace, the one who calls in the relatives to help her search in strange cities, the one who registered her DNA with the national database so that if Sheryl can't be found and something happens to her, she will not be forever lost , that's the imperfect one that just does the best she can with the situation at hand.

I am not saying that God would hurt someone else to help me, but her being ill and my husband and I helping her has definitely helped me. and I thank God daily for making me imperfect. A demon don't stand a chance against an imperfect mama.