The Sweet Husband

The SH and the Baby

Today the sweet husband told the granddaughter about the first time he was by himself with her mother.

It was one of the first situations, as a wife, that I alternated rapidly between awwww, isn't that sweet, and Good Lord, grow up and get over it, dumbass.

Even though we both had two children in previous marriages, apparently he had ZERO experience in dealing with babies.

when Brandi was about 3 months old, he happened to be off one weekend, and I wanted to go buy groceries all by myself. No baby in the basket, no husband following me around, just an hour in the grocery store, it almost sounded like a vacation.

He was laying on the floor watching television, I took a shower, got dressed, put the baby in one of the little vibrating baby seats, took it in, set it on the floor beside him and said I'll be back later.

He says, what, WHAt? You can't leave her here.

UHHHHH, yes I can, you are her daddy, it's allowed.

NOQOOO! How about if I go with you and I'll carry her around in the store.

You dón't understand, I want to get away from both of you for just an hour. You will be ok, she will probably sleep the whole time.

He looked like he was going to cry, you know she won't sleep, she is going to wake up the instant you close the door and then what do I do?

Play with her, talk to her, just like you do when I'm here and in the kitchen cooking dinner. You are a big boy, you have kids, she's a kid, get over it.

What if she cries because she's hungry.

You know where the kitchen is, therés a big white thing in there, got a door on it, bottles inside it, warm it up, just like you do when I'm here, but this time stick that rubbery looking thing on the end of it in her mouth, if you can drive a truck, you can give a baby a bottle, I promise!

As I start out the door and it starts to close, I hear him say WAIT! I open the door and look back in and he says, what if she poops??  Good Lord, Randy, what do you do if you poop? Do the same thing with her except use those wipes.

As I started walking down the hall, I heard her start to cry. I will admit, I started grinning. I knew he would be fine, but it was comical that she woke up.

When I got back home, he was standing in the yard, holding her out in front of him like she was burning his hands. As I took her, he said, you knew she was gonna poop three times and that's why you left her with me. Ok, so maybe it didn't help any when I patted her bottom and said Way to go baby girl, but I still think he got a little too touchy about it.