The Sweet Husband

Ice Cream, Please, Without Nuts

Only in the home of the slightly insane could the following conversation occur at 5AM.

Sweet Husband: Are you awake?

Me: Well, I guess I am now.

SH: Blue Bell thinks they know what the problem is.

Me: Thank God,

SH: It was nuts in the ice cream.

Me: ERRR, did they arrest the ones that did it?

SH: Well, nobody did anything to be arrested for, but maybe they will get the ice cream back in the stores soon.

Me: Did nothing to be arrested for, the sick bastards should be put UNDER the jail.

SH: I sure thought you would be glad they found the problem, you have whined about ice cream for three days now.

Me: I sure as hell don't want any ice cream that has had someone's stinking nuts in it.

Sh: Pecans, dumbass, PECANS.