5. Her Decision

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(Minor spoilers of the manga in this chapter)

Knock, Knock, Knock

Ochako knew who it was right away from the small taps coming from the other side of her dorm room. She wanted to back down. She almost did. However, she knew she had to go through with it. After the meeting ended, she noticed how Izuku was determined to save the child who came up in the conversation. He would do anything to save them. Which was the final push she needed over the edge to make this decision.

It was for the best.

Shaking her hands to get rid of the nerves, anxiety clung to her from the inevitable. Opening the door, only a small crack at first, she saw a nervous Izuku standing outside with a tight grip on the straps of his signature yellow backpack.

He knew something was wrong. Of course, he did. Izuku was smart and perceptive. Nothing ever got past him.

"Hi..." She weakly whispered to him, motioning him to step inside. "Do you want something to drink?"

Izuku only shook his head in response, words couldn't form from his dry throat. His eyes trailing to the floor as he silently passed her and sat on her bed waiting for the metaphorical band-aid to be ripped off. He had a sense of where this was going. He just hoped it would be done quickly and fast. Still, why? It was a question permanently stuck in his brain.

Had he done something wrong? If so, was it too late to fix it?

He loves her so dearly, but they did agree to end things if the other ever began to have doubts. If the other didn't feel the same anymore.

"You had something important to talk about." Izuku mumbled quietly.

Finally looking up with courage, he regretted instantly. He felt his heart shatter into pieces when he saw Ochako's brown eyes burn with hot tears streaming down her face.

"Izuku, I'm so sorry..." Ochako whispered with a tremble. She rarely called him by his first name.

In that moment he knew...

He knew everything was over.

"Why?" Izuku weakly asked, pushing the well-known tears down. "Did I do something wrong?" He genuinely wanted to know. He tilted his head to the side, confusion and dread written over his freckled face.

Only making her decision that much harder because who would ever want to break his heart like this?

"No, please don't think that. You did nothing wrong. You were perfect to the very end." Ochako was silently crying now, pushing herself to end this. Her hands were held tightly in front of her, stopping herself from reaching out to him.

She hated to do this to him and to herself, but she had to.

"Not perfect enough to make you stay though... Can I know why?"

Izuku looked down at his trembling scarred hands, he was trying hard to hold his tears back. The knot in his throat wasn't making it any easier. His vision was getting blurry from the flood of tears filling in his eyes. He instantly rubbed them away, wanting to get the salty water out of the way before it made its way down.

"Is there anything I can say, to change your mind." He tried not to sound desperate. Though his heart was begging for him to say anything to have her stay.

"Izuku, you jump into action without hesitation, and I admire that about you, I always have. But it scares me..." Ochako took a deep breath, she had to let him know. Let him know he did nothing wrong. She looked directly at his emerald eyes, trying not to break contact as tears slipped down. "It scares me to think, one day, one year from now, five or ten – you'll be fighting to the point of no return, and I'll be left all alone...

"But I will always come back..." Izuku tried to reason with her, getting up desperately to get close to her.

However, Ochako shook her head and put her hand up, putting up a barrier he could not cross. Stopping him where he stood, close – yet being so many miles away. Trying to make him listen to what she was trying to get across.

"You can't promise me that... I know it's selfish. Selfish, to not want you to be the first one out there. It's in your nature to want to save everyone and put everyone first before yourself. It's your dream to be number one." She took a deep breath. "But have you thought of the way it affects the people who care for you?" Ochako whispered. "I know you will be a great hero someday; I believe you'll be number one, one day too."

She smiled at him, though her heart was crumbling. "Still, I'm sorry I can't be the one beside you for when that happens..."

This hurt Ochako too. She always wondered who would be there for the heroes when they were out there saving lives. That inspired her to become a hero in the first place, she wanted to be there for the heroes. A hero for another hero. When she first realized she had a crush on Izuku, she wanted to be his hero when he was out their protecting everyone and needed someone to mend him afterwards.

However, every time he was in danger, she would panic and as they grew more serious – the panic become more apparent. It didn't matter how many times Izuku reassured her everything would be okay.

There was a point last year where he would have to hold her at night, when she had nightmares. She didn't know how sweet Inko, his mother – did it. Now she understood why the older woman would call her every so often to check on how her son was doing.

When Inko called him, Izuku would never tell her the truth. Inko knew Ochako would look after her son in her place, and she trusted her and loved her dearly.

Izuku would not be the only one to lose Ochako. Inko would be losing a daughter too.

Izuku was crying now. He knew there was nothing he could say to change her mind. He could not make any empty promises of coming back. There are some battles some heroes never make it out of. He knows that. His mother was scared to lose him because of it. He saw one of his mentors die that way, his upperclassmen almost die.

He loves Ochako...

However, she didn't love him enough to go through the pain if anything happened to him. It was selfish of him for wanting her to stay even with the consequences. All-Might, his blond-haired older mentor, already explained to him why he was a lone all those years. This was the reason.

Sometimes heroes, especially ones who are at the very top should be alone. If they have a loved one, that loved one can be kidnapped and used against them. If the hero dies, the loved one would be left alone.

Love is a weakness.

Izuku knew all of that before he got in a relationship with her.

It's the one thing which held Izuku back in the beginning, from dating the small brunette woman. Still, he wanted to give it a chance regardless, because he fell deeply in love with her. He understood why she was breaking up with him. He just wished...

Wished he'd been enough for her to go against all her fears and stayed.

It was selfish of him to think that way. But Izuku Midoriya was selfless enough to let her go if this is what she wanted.

It hurt; it really did. She was his first love. He was willing to do everything for her. He was willing to let go of becoming the number one hero. His dream since he was a little kid if she asked. He was even willing to become something else other than a hero, just to keep his promise of always coming back to her.

He really would have...

Only, if he was not the successor of All Might and didn't hold One-for-All.

He tried to swallow the knot in his throat, trying to calm his anxiety of losing her. He had to, to make it easier for her.

"I-I understand..."

It was all he could say. His voice, sounding raspy and foreign from holding in how he truly felt.

Walking the short distance between them. He cupped her puffed out cheeks once he was close. Rubbing his thumb back and forth on the tears sliding freely. He saw through her eyes, how her heart was breaking too. She didn't want to do this, but he understood for her own sake, she had to.

Embracing her like a lover would do. He kissed her one final time with so much love and pain portrayed into their last kiss, before walking out the door and leaving her behind. 

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